After I promptly told Seth to shut the fuck up as we took off from the restaurant I couldn't help but go over the last hour in my mind.
All in all I have to say I think Edward handled his first run in with obnoxious male admirers rather well. I knew it wasn't easy for him to calm himself down, but he was perfect. He knew how to handle me just fine, too, so that gets him an internal fist bump.
'Angel, don't take this the wrong way, but sit the fuck back down, now' …mmm, I do so enjoy when commanding Edward makes an appearance!
I love that he doesn't take any shit from me. I have a tendency to over react at times, automatically thinking the worst. I have tried to be better about it but sometimes I can't help it.
Edward is so important to me now that I couldn't bear the thought of upsetting him in any way. Last Saturday night was enough for me, thank you very much!
And, holy fucking shit, that kiss in the hallway inside the restaurant? Mind boggling, totally fried my brain into nothingness, the man could kiss like no one's business. And, yes, the kiss was amazing and all that mess but the way it made me feel. That was what had my insides doing flips on a trampoline at mile a minute.
Need…Want…Ache…over and over again.
The cycle never stops, it just moves from one to the other to the other.
My body was desperate for him, to feel him close to me, to just be with him. When he was near me, I always feel this innate tugging that draws me to him. It's like my body wants to be a part of his, like I'll never feel complete, ever, unless we are together.
I sighed deeply, from back seat of the Suburban as Seth drove me to another appearance. I pulled out my iphone and clicked on my calendar, I couldn't even remember where I was supposed to be. Groaning loudly as I realized I was headed to meet an interviewer for Cosmopolitan, I stared out the window and mentally said my mantra over and over again in my head.
Six more months Bella, just 6 more months…
The interview took up the rest of my afternoon. Answering questions like 'what do you do to stay in such good shape' and 'don't you just love to be fantasized about by so many men' and getting my picture taken in outfits I wouldn't be caught dead in was not my ideal way to spend the day, but it is my job. So, I did it, and tried to fake my enthusiasm throughout the whole thing.
Seth rolled his eyes and made goofy assed faces behind the interviewer's back; lightened my mood immeasurably. I wasn't trying to be difficult; it would just be nice to go to one of these damn things and be asked some meaningful questions. While I may know what my favorite sexual position is, I didn't necessarily want anyone else to know…except someone named Edward Cullen that is!
At least when the interview was finished and I was done for the day, I had less than 24 hours until my date with Edward. The thought made me giddy with excitement. I had the perfect dress to wear. Rosalie sent it to me and I have been saving it for a special occasion. My first official date with the man of my dreams definitely falls into that category.
While I may not want to be away from Edward for 2 weeks, I was looking forward to spending some time with Rose. I need to talk to her, and phone calls weren't going to cut it. She may be the same age as me, but she is light years ahead in experience and relationships.
Rose has found it difficult to find a man who was able to handle being with someone like her. She is beautiful, smarter than most anyone you could ever meet, witty, and sarcastic. She tolerates absolutely no bullshit, from anyone…ever. If you can't speak the truth to Rosalie Whitlock, don't talk to her at all. She had no time and no inclination to coddle anyone, especially a man. Whomever captures her heart will have to have a strong personality, but be able to let lots of little things go. Rose was hard to please, but when you do, it is a sight to behold. The man strong enough to love her, all of her, will have to make her laugh and treat her like the goddess she thinks she is.
I loved her more than anything, but I am not blind to her faults, and she has many. She is opinionated, stubborn and difficult when not getting her way. To her credit, she is the most loyal person you will ever meet and if you are lucky enough to be one of the chosen few in her inner circle, there was nothing in the world she wouldn't do for you. And protective…oh my goodness; if Edward thought dealing with Seth or Jasper was bad; they have nothing on my Lele.
I couldn't wait for Edward to meet Rose and Jasper. I know he and Edward talked over Skype, but it wasn't the same thing. When I talked to J after his talk with Edward, he let me know that he liked Edward and he was really happy for me. He has some concerns about the kids, like I expected, but it wasn't anything I hadn't thought about myself.
I was madly in love with Maddie and Masen Cullen. Like head over heels, crazy in love with them. They were everything I would have ever wanted in a daughter or son. Funny, sweet, loving and outgoing.
Thanks to my mother, I had endometriosis like she did. Mine is somewhat more severe than hers was; at least according to my last gynecologist appointment that is. My doctor was not confident in my being able to have children, but we are unsure about it since I've never been involved with anyone enough for it to have become an issue. I'll need to talk to Edward about this, which was not a conversation I am looking forward to at all.
I never really thought about having children, it's not something I had always wanted. That's not to say I've been against having children, because that's not the case. I just didn't believe it would be an issue because I never imagined I would find my Edward.
Yes, my Edward.
There's no doubt in my mind that he's as much mine as I am his. It would be impossible to fight whatever force brought us together; I don't want to. He's perfect. Oh he's drop dead gorgeous and probably had more damn money than anyone could possibly ever need in multiple lifetimes, but that is not even close to being who he is.
Next to Charlie Swan, I have never met a better father than Edward Cullen. He adores his children and gives every bit of himself to them. He loves them beyond reason and does it willingly…it's just who he is. He loves his family and is as protective and loyal to them as I am to Seth, Jasper and Rose. I've never met them but his parents must be amazing people to have raised a man with the values he has and the ability to show Maddie and Masen as much affection as he does had to of come from them.
He's sweet and funny and could charm the pants off anyone with next to no effort. But, at his core, Edward is just good. You can tell just by the way he loves his children. There is no way anyone could find as much joy and happiness in simply being a father.
Oh, I'm quite positive that my Edward was not perfect. He's over protective and he might possibly have a bit of an anger management problem too, judging from the way he stormed out of my apartment last weekend. Yes, he came back, but he still left in the first place.
But, his good qualities outnumber his bad ones by far. His sense of humor is one of the best things about him and one of my favorites. I love to tease him, and he takes it so well. He liked to pretend he didn't but he couldn't hide that sexy ass smirk from me at all. Those lips twitched every time I call him old man and he practically beamed when I called him Kit Kat.
I made it home and Seth and I ate dinner, then he went downstairs, taking a plate of leftovers to give to Jake who has been busy updating some security software here in the building. I didn't see Jake often, except when Seth felt like I needed an extra body around me. An appearance with a large crowd usually brings out Seth's uber protective nature so Jake comes to those; otherwise I rarely come in contact with him. He didn't stay here at the building at night, it's only Seth and I, but Jake lives close by and has some kind of computer set up that lets him monitor the building from home if he needs to.
After taking a shower I got my pajamas on and climbed into bed. Sleep did not come easily as I tossed and turned, thinking about going on a first date with Edward Cullen and wondering how the hell I got so damned lucky…
Friday morning came early since I had a radio interview at 7:30 a.m. The interview went fine, it's the same as all the others and I was back home by late morning. I had to stop by the office to meet with Angela, Aro and Jane to make sure I was aware of what I would be doing in California; like Jasper or Angela would let me forget.
Aro and Jane know perfectly well my feelings on my contract and the surrounding circumstances that brought me here…and they try to manipulate it every chance they get. I am going to have to talk to Jasper soon; I didn't have a good feeling about my contract expiring when it was supposed to and I wanted to make 200% sure that nothing got in the way of my freedom from them.
I decided to make some more cookies for the shelter since I had time before my date. After changing clothes I started baking, completely clearing my mind of everything but Edward and our date tonight.
He's kept me in the dark all week on where we were going; the only thing he said was to make sure I wore a dress. Hmmm…I hope that means he's going to be wearing a suit. Just thinking about Edward all dressed up sends the most delicious feelings straight to my tingling girly parts.
When the cookies were done and packed in a box, I told Seth where I was going and let Zaphrina know I was on my way. I'd noticed over the past week that more and more people were recognizing me when I was out and about. For the most part everyone has kept their distance, with the exception of some over zealous fans waiting outside the radio station this morning.
They scared the shit out of me, if you want to know the truth. There was a group of young guys, probably 19 to 20 year olds standing in front of the building and when I walked past, one of them reached out and grabbed my wrist to make me turn around and talk to him. Seth was on him immediately, but I'm sure there will be a bruise there by tomorrow since the guy grabbed me so hard.
It took fifteen minutes once we made it inside for my breathing to return to normal after that. I could handle the cat calls and lewd comments, I usually tuned those out, but the physical contact freaked me the hell out. Hopefully Edward won't notice tonight, I couldn't imagine that conversation going well at all.
I met Zaphrina in the kitchen and we talked for a few minutes while she let me know how things were going there; I told her about my past week. I skimmed over the details of Edward, but I couldn't help the smile that graced my face just by mentioning his name. As we were talking, the same strawberry blonde haired woman walked in the kitchen and Zaph introduced me to Tanya. I found out she was one of the doctors that volunteered there along with two of her colleagues.
She was a beautiful woman but so sweet and friendly. I stayed for a few moments visiting with both of them before excusing myself, telling Zaphrina I needed to get home and start getting ready for tonight. When Zaph told me to have fun with Edward, Tanya's head snapped up and she looked at me with a huge smile on her face. I had no idea what that was about, but I didn't have time to ask.
I spent a few hours leisurely bathing and primping myself to get ready for my man. Oohh, I so love saying that! I also liked calling him baby; he didn't seem to mind it a bit. Not real sure where it came from, it just slipped out the first time, but when I saw the look in his eyes afterward, well, I made a mental note to use it again…and again.
I shaved, plucked and put on lotion until my body was as smooth as silk while I kept an eye on the time. My stomach started to get in knots as I noticed it was less than an hour until he was supposed to be here. I'm not nervous, just excited beyond belief to see him again.
He was so important to me now and I couldn't stop thinking about him…ever. My mind constantly drifted to thoughts of him and when we are together, I never wanted to let him go.
While I may look ahead to my future and see nothing but Edward, Maddie and Masen, I realized that Edward and I needed to move forward slowly. Jumping in head first is guaranteed to do nothing but cause heartache and I couldn't bear it if anything happened to stop what we had. I loved Maddie and Masen, and I also knew deep in my heart that I love Edward, too. It's quick and it's scary but it's also right and the truth. I knew he was it for me…just like I know I felt I was it for him as well.
As I put my shoes on, I heard the elevator in the hall followed by a ring of the doorbell.
I took a deep breath, smoothed down my dress and walked to open the door to the man of my dreams.
I felt the smile on my face as I opened the door, my eyes immediately sought out his, and when I found them, my whole body exploded with warmth. I barely realized it when he pulled me to him and kissed me. Our bodies shifted constantly to accommodate the other, naturally recognizing the others movements. I felt so safe and complete when he held me.
He slowed down the kiss until he pulled back and took a step away from me.
I literally had to clench my fingers to stop myself from pulling him back to me, my body already missing the warmth of him being so close to me.
He leaned down to kiss my neck and whispered in my ear, "My Bella, you are breathtaking. I can't wait to take you out and show the entire city that you are mine, and make no mistake baby, you are mine." He finished as he sucked gently on the spot sure to drive me wild.
My panties immediately soaked at the word mine. And at the feel of his lips on the spot behind my ear, the tone of his voice, the way he smells, and oh God the way he looks in his suit. Was it wrong if that turned me the fuck on?
I took a sharp breath and felt my teeth pull my bottom lip in my mouth, biting it lightly.
He reached over and his thumb released my lip from between my teeth and he told me softly, "Angel, I'd like to kiss that lip later, so you need to stop with the torture, if you don't mind?"
I couldn't help it when I blushed, as I looked at him and said, "Edward, you look so handsome. I've never seen you dressed up before, it suits you."
I had never seen anyone look so sexy in a suit before in my life. Models, actors, no one had anything on Edward dressed up. If I wasn't so excited to go out with him, I might be tempted to beg him to let us stay here and take it off of him.
We just stood there and drank each other in for a few minutes, hell it could have been hours for all I knew before I felt him as he grabbed my hand and began to walk towards the door; I grabbed my purse, cell phone and keys on the way out the door.
"Come, my love, our reservations are in 30 minutes, we need to get out of here or we'll be late," I heard him tell me.
I looked at Edward; I'm sure with a look of shock mixed with relief in my eyes as I nodded my head; we made our way to the elevator to go to the car and on our first, official date.
On the way to the restaurant Edward held my hand while I played those two words over and over in my head. He said 'my love' I know he did. Does that mean he loves me? Oh god, I hope so. I am dying to tell him how I feel, but I am so scared of moving too quickly and scaring him away.
I let those thoughts go and decided to just enjoy the night out with him.
Dinner was fabulous and the company was a thousand times better. The hostess, who eye-fucked the hell out of my man I might add, showed us to our table and walked away in a huff as he pulled my chair out for me and then promptly moved his chair as close to mine as he could get it. It was like we couldn't get close enough; being even inches away was painful.
We talked and laughed and flirted our way through dinner. I was sure the food tasted delicious, but I had no idea. I could only focus on Edward and him touching me. It was like he couldn't get enough. Every time I moved, he moved with me and there was always some part of his body touching mine. I wasn't much better; I couldn't keep my hands to myself either.
I was aware of a few stares and whispers as we walked through the restaurant as we were leaving, but knowing that Edward was with me made it all just fade away into the background. Not really the smartest thing to do, but when I am with him, everything else melts away.
The piano bar was just what I wanted, a place to go and be close to Edward where no one paid any attention to us. He introduced me to his friend Alec, who was so busy greeting other patrons he didn't even give us a backward glance as he moved on past us. We found a booth along the back corner and sat and enjoyed the music. I was looking forward to dancing with Edward but once we sat down and I felt his body pressed close to mine as he draped his arm around my shoulder, I couldn't find it in me to want to move from our spot.
Time seemed to fly by in a haze of increased sexual tension. As the night progressed, our hands became more daring. His hand slowly found its way down my shoulder to around my waist, where his thumb traced circles. From there his hand moved upwards until the same thumb was brushing the underside of my breast. My hand went from resting lightly on his knee to his upper thigh where my fingers were flexed into the hard muscles below his suit pants. He may have spent more time talking softly in my ear than completely necessary, his lips and tongue tasting my skin so often I was a panting mess in no time.
I may have pressed my side into him, letting him feel the hardness of my nipple through my dress crushed against his chest as I turned to talk to him. My fingers might have grazed across the fly of his dress pants, barely touching the hardness below, but enough so that I heard the sharp intake of his breath and watched his eyes change from their gorgeous bright green to almost black.
We sat for hours, talking when we wanted, listening to the music in silence just as often. We just enjoyed being close to each other. I wanted him so badly, I wanted him to just take me home and throw me on the bed and make love to me for hours upon hours. But, I knew we shouldn't. We hadn't even had "that" talk yet and although I trusted him completely, it needed to be done.
The man was drop dead gorgeous and there was no fucking way he hadn't been with anyone since the twins were born. I shuddered at the thought of him being with anyone else, but I'm no fool. By his nature Edward was an incredibly sexual being so I knew there had to have been women he spent time with and I would assume that included sex with them, too.
At 11:00 Edward asked if I was ready to leave and with a nod of my head we walked to the door. He held my hand, his finger rubbing circles on my wrist as we walked to the car. The electricity between us felt like it was strong enough to light the whole block by the time we made it to the car and I could feel it rolling off of him in waves. It was simply delicious.
I was so focused on my need for Edward that I barely noticed when he opened my door for me. After standing completely still for the briefest of moments I threw myself at him, wanting nothing more than to feel his mouth on mine. I kissed him with everything I had in me, letting my want flow out. Our bodies immediately responding as I felt him turn me and push me back against the side of the car.
I rolled my hips forward, meeting his as he thrust against me. It felt exquisite. I am sure he could feel how wet I was though my dress, as close to his center as I was. I felt his hands on my ass, gripping me tightly in his strong fingers. His tongue was moving across my exposed collar bones, leaving a trail of warmth in his wake that turned cool as soon as the night air met the wetness. I arched my back against him, trying to get even closer to him.
When I finally had enough, I grabbed his hair and turned his head, my tongue lazily making its way from his Adams apple, along his jaw and to his ear where I whispered, "I want you Edward, please take me home…right fucking now."
My door was opened and I was sitting in my seat before I knew it. I barely had time to buckle my seat belt before he was in his, and sped towards my apartment. I glanced at him, too afraid to move for fear I would throw myself at him while he was driving and saw his knuckles were gripping the steering wheel so tightly his fingers were white. He was breathing heavily through his nose and he reached up and ran a hand through his hair, disheveling it even more than it already was.
He looked feral; his eyes black, his muscles coiled tightly, his chest heaving.
I wanted him so bad my body was shaking in lust and need. Shaking for him, wanting him to take me and make me his.
We arrived at the parking garage, both of us getting out of the car without saying a word, just trying to make it upstairs before combusting.
He stood by the elevator, standing with his back straight, the tension so tangible I could feel it; he held his hand out to me, not saying a word. I felt his body relax as soon as his hand closed around mine, mine reacting the same way. As we approached my door, his hand gripped mine tightly, his breathing choppy and as he turned to look at me, I stopped breathing all together.
I stared at him, looking deep into his black-green eyes as the door opened, and in the blink of an eye, I was pressed up against the door once it was closed. My purse fallen to the floor as Edward took hold of each of my wrists and held them above my head, his mouth covering mine completely. He kissed me for what seemed like hours but in reality was just a minute or two before he looked and shook his head, his eyes focused on mine.
"Bella, angel, please let me touch you. If I can't touch you, I am going to explode. Please, please baby," he cried to me.
All I could do was nod, his need so glaringly obvious in his eyes.
I heard Edward sigh in relief as he leaned in and kissed me again, more gently this time, his mouth savoring the feel of my tongue twirling with his. He let go of my wrists, absentmindedly rubbing my arms before placing one hand on the small of my back and the other under my ass as he lifted me up. My legs wrapped around his waist as he walked us to the sofa, sitting down, my legs straddling his waist. His hand reached behind my neck, his thumb pressed lightly on the pulse point of my neck as he guided me forward.
I could feel his warm breath and I tasted him in the air between us when he breathed, "Bella, kiss me angel, please, let me feel your lips on mine."
The words had barely left him before I slid my tongue into his warm mouth. I heard a growl of pleasure from deep inside his chest; I felt it all the way down to my soaking wet pussy that was shamelessly rubbing against Edward creating the most delicious friction.
"Oh my God Edward, baby…I…Jesus, you taste so good," I purred at him. He tasted of mint and whiskey and just him…it was mouthwatering.
I took his bottom lip in between my teeth, nibbling on it before slipping my tongue into his waiting mouth. He was trembling beneath me; I pushed myself closer to him until there wasn't an inch of space between us.
I continued to rock my hips against his hard length as I felt his warm hands gliding up my thighs, pushing my dress up so that I could settle fully against him. I kept kissing him, my tongue caressing his, I nibbled and licked his bottom lip, pulling his hair; then I tilted his head to the side so I could run my lick his jaw and neck.
I whispered to him, "Edward, oh god, you feel so good…I can feel how hard you are…and …ah…I want you so much baby," I panted as I continued to rock against him, the friction making me ache so badly down there it was almost painful.
"My Bella, you have no idea what you are doing to me baby," Edward murmured to me as he moved his mouth to my collar bones trailing warm, wet open mouthed kisses over every exposed area of my body. He nudged the fabric of my dress with his nose and I felt his warm tongue as it slid over the tops of my breasts, but it wasn't enough…not nearly enough.
I pulled back and looked into his eyes and whispered, "Touch me, Edward, please, let me feel you touch me," I picked up his hand and placed it over my breast, my nipple already hard.
"Bella," he moaned as his hand squeezed my breast, his thumb rubbing back and forth across my nipple.
He reached behind my back and unzipped my dress, pushing it off my shoulders until it was in a pool at my waist.
"Christ, Bella, do you have any idea how beautiful you are to me?" he moaned to me as he placed a kiss in the space between my shoulder and my neck, while rolling my nipples between his thumbs and index fingers.
Sweet Jesus did that feel good, I knew I was soaked through my panties, I had to have been. I had never been more turned on in my life and I had never, ever wanted anyone the way I wanted Edward at that moment.
I leaned forward and kissed my way around his neck, my fingers moved to his shirt and I began unbuttoning it one by one, I ached to feel his warm skin beneath my fingers. Once I had them all undone, I pushed it open and ran my fingers over his strong chest, electric pulses shot through my arms at the feel of Edward beneath me. He groaned out in pleasure and lifted his hips off the couch to meet my hips as I continued grinding on him.
"Bella, angel, oh…Jesus…fuck…god your hands feel so good on me. Please… baby, please keep touching me…don't fucking stop," he begged me.
He continued to rub my breasts, the ache growing and growing in between my legs as he nearly lifted himself all the way off the sofa as I ran a fingernail across each of his distended nipples.
"Fuck…fuck…" he moaned over and over as I leaned over and began to kiss his beautifully sculpted chest.
I knew men were not supposed to be beautiful, but Edward Cullen is without a doubt the most incredibly beautiful man I have ever seen.
I kept kissing and licking across the landscape of his chest, circling each of his nipples and felt him get even harder when he aligned himself to me. I felt his hands as they stroked through my hair and along the sides of my face, his thumbs rubbing circles on each side of my neck.
"Bella, sweetheart, is it okay if I take this off," he whispered to me as his hands were on the clasp of my bra, as he waited for permission to undo it.
I didn't stop kissing him, I merely nodded my head and felt as my bra opened in the back and his hands swept it off my shoulders until I was completely naked from the waist up.
"Sweet Jesus…angel, you are mesmerizing. I am going to taste you now," Edward told me as he pressed his mouth on my breast, kissing all around until I was a writhing mess on top of him before I begged,
"More Edward, god baby…please…just more, it feels so good."
Edward reached out and grabbed my hand and pulled it down between his legs, pressing it against his hard erection, as he breathed, "Bella, baby, feel what you do to me…what you have done to me since the first moment I laid eyes on you…I'm insane for you Beautiful…I want you so bad, to make you mine, to have you always…" he frantically told me as he pumped up and down against my hand.
I spread my legs farther apart to grab onto him more fully and began to move up and down on him.
"I can smell you Bella…Jesus… god, I can fucking smell you…you smell so sweet and you're so wet, I can taste you in the air baby…" Edward groaned out as his hand moved up my thigh and then I felt his finger touching my pussy, rubbing the outside of my soaking wet panties.
I opened my legs wider so he could touch me, I felt like I might die right then and there if he didn't touch me.
My hand continued to move up and down on him, grabbing him through his pants, and damn he was so…big, and hard and I wanted it and him and I couldn't even think straight because I was so overcome with need.
I felt it as Edward rubbed me through my panties, circling my clit with his long finger and I heard his voice through the cloud of lust in my head as he begged me, "Baby, I want to feel you, touch you…please… please…angel, kiss me…"
I complied with his plea and gently took his bottom lip in between my teeth and softly bit down nibbling for a moment before slowly pushing my tongue in his mouth, the slowness of my movements in direct contradiction of the spiraling feelings coursing through my body.
I kissed along his cheeks, his eyelids, his nose, down his neck and I whispered, "Edward, do you feel how wet I am, how wet you make me from wanting you so desperately?"
"Fuck yes Bella, you're so god damned wet baby…" he groaned as I could feel him lift his hips off the couch and into my hand. He was so unbelievably hard beneath my fingers, I wanted to feel him. I hurriedly unbuckled his belt and unzipped his pants slipping my hand inside, holding him immediately as I heard a pained "Oh Jesus, shit…angel that feels so fucking good, please, I'm so close…ah…Bella…"
"Yes, my Edward, yes…baby…you feel so good in my hands, so soft and so fucking hard," I told him as my thumb swept over the tip of him, gathering the moisture there and rubbing it down the length of him.
I felt his finger as it moved through my soaking wet folds, pushing deep inside of me, my pussy squeezing as he added another finger, moving them in and out in concert with my motions.
"That's it my Bella, come for me love…angel you're so wet…so warm," Edward whimpered as we kept up our simultaneous movements.
"Only you Edward…only you could make me this wet…just you baby…please, I'm so close," I begged him.
"Yes … Bella please…uh… come for me…with me, I need to feel you come on my fingers, now sweet girl…fuck," he stammered as his breathing was coming in panting breaths, so close to coming in my hand.
"Edward, my love…baby, I'm going to come…you're here…now… shit…just now," I cried out to him as I fell apart over him, feeling his warmth explode out of him and on my hand.
He kept moving his fingers until I my orgasm passed as he said softly, "That's it angel, I've got you…my baby…yes."
I was a mess, my hair completely wild, my dress still hanging around my waist as I leaned forward and rested my forehead against Edward's, looking into his eyes. The green eyes that looked back at me were warm with everything I was feeling… contentment, completeness, and irrevocable love.
He removed his hands from underneath my dress and I moved mine from his pants, reaching over to the coffee table and getting some tissue to clean us both off. I watched as he slipped a finger into his mouth, licking me off of them.
The god damned hottest and most erotic thing I have ever witnessed in my life.
After the tissues were placed on the end table, Edward reached down and brought my dress back up over my shoulders and pulled me close to him, enveloping me in his arms as I shifted on his lap, trying not to rub against him…no matter how badly I wanted him again.
He brushed my hair back behind my ear and kissed my temple and then my forehead before I heard him softly say, "Bella, angel, I…that was…I've never…" and he took a deep breath, "amazing, just fucking incredible baby." He finished even more softly, raining kisses on the side of my head.
He continued, "Bella, I…I want to tell you…"
I looked up at him then, sitting up and really looking into his eyes knowing what he wanted to say. I felt it too, but it wasn't the right time so I bent forward and kissed him on the lips before moving to his ear and whispering, "I know Edward, I know baby. I feel it too…its ok, not right now…love…" I kissed him again before holding his face in my hands and continued, "Baby, I know."
He nodded his head and kissed me back before tucking me under his chin, his hand running up and down my arm for I don't know how long before I fell asleep with him holding me.
Sometime later I felt him carry me to my bedroom and he gently placed me on the edge of the bed before getting a t-shirt from my dresser to dress me in. He pulled my dress off of me and slipped the shirt over my head before guiding me back to my pillow and pulling the covers over me. I barely recognized when he put my rhino in my arms and kissed my forehead before whispering, "Bella, my love, sleep well angel. I'll call you tomorrow sweet girl…sweet dreams," and then he kissed my lips softly before walking out the door.
As I heard the front door close, the last thought I had was that Edward was my forever.
Edward called me late Saturday morning to make sure I was ok and that I wasn't angry with him for putting me to bed…and changing my clothes for me. Silly man! I felt awkward with him, but only because I was so happy about last night. It was everything I could have dreamed of…and more.
He was going to spend the afternoon with the kids and his sister, but we made plans to do something with the kids the next day. I spent my Saturday working out and then I cleaned the apartment and cooked dinner for Seth and I since he was coming over to watch a movie with me.
At 7:00 Seth came bursting through the front door and he wasted no time before he started in with me.
"Soooo, Shortcake, how was the big date with Edward? I saw his car was still here when I got home last night, but it was gone this morning," he said as he wiggled his eyebrows at me.
"Jesus Seth, just ask if he spent the night if you want to know so damn bad," I snapped at him, handing him a plate of nachos and a glass of Coke.
He stuffed a chip in his mouth and then asked, "Bell, did Edward stay the night?"
I put my glass of water down and then said, "None of your damn business brother…but the date was fucking awesome!"
"Come on tiny, you can tell me if he stayed, I won't tell J or Rose, please….?" He begged.
I shook my head before telling him, "No way Seth. I know I tell you everything, but I just…well…what…" I trailed off.
I'm not sure why I don't want to tell him, but I don't. I just want to keep Edward to myself for a while and that means no sharing with Seth, who will share with Jasper…who will share with Rose. I don't want to deal with it yet. There will be time for the interrogations once I get to California, I'm sure of that.
He threw a heavy arm around my shoulder and kissed the side of my head before he said, "I'm just fucking with you Shortcake, I don't care whether he stayed or not, that's between the two of you. But, I couldn't be happier about seeing that gorgeous smile on your face. You deserve this Bell, and so much more."
I loved my Seth!
"Thanks Seth, now let's get this show on the road," I told him as I kissed his cheek and turned on the movie.
Sunday with Maddie, Masen and Edward was amazing. We met at the park again, since the twins were dying to play with Rufus; we all had a blast. Rufus of course was in heaven being showered in attention from the Wonder Twins, as we all ran and played and laughed all day.
Edward had told me about their little melt down the other day when he told them I would be gone for two weeks. I can't say a part of me didn't feel really happy that they would miss me if I was gone, because I did. It's nice to know they love me as much as I love them…and their dad.
And I do, I loved Edward so much and I couldn't wait until I could tell him…but not yet.
Goodbyes were hard again, they seem more so every time, but it is nice knowing now that I will see them soon. Most of the uncertainties from before have just melted away since Edward and I have gotten closer, though there is still so much to talk about.
The week flew by, with meetings and appearances and interviews and packing until it was Friday. When Edward and I talked throughout the week, I had asked if it would be okay for him and the kids to watch Rufus while I was away. I knew Maddie and Masen would be ecstatic at the prospect, but I wasn't so sure about Edward or his parents, but he thought it was a great idea.
I also asked if it would be okay for all of them to come to the loft after the twins were done at school and he was finished seeing patients to have dinner and play games. I wanted to see all of them before I left and I figured this would be the best way for him to pick up Rufus and all his things. I couldn't wait to surprise Maddie and Masen with being able to take him home with them for the 2 weeks I'd be gone.
After a quick trip to the video game store to buy some more kid friendly games for the Wii Seth had given me for Christmas, I stopped by the market to get what I needed for dinner. I had decided to make pizzas for dinner with some garlic bread and chocolate chip cookies for dessert. I also had popcorn and candy for snacks during game time.
When I had the Wii set up and the instruments out so we could play Lego Rock Band…yes I was very pumped to play that one…I changed into some jeans and a t-shirt and got started on dinner. I started to get really excited as it got closer and closer to 6:00, anxious to have the three of them here with me…in my home.
It almost made me feel like we were a little family and I was getting dinner ready after they were just out running errands or something.
I couldn't stop myself and something about imagining it just felt so damn right and I really couldn't help but admit how much I wanted it to be the reality instead of a dream.
When I heard the elevator followed by the little voices of two of my three favorite people in the world my heart started beating faster and I could feel the smile stretching across my face. It had been 5 days since I saw Maddie and Masen and even though I talked to them before they went to bed every night now…thanks to Edward…I still missed them like mad.
And Edward, god I just saw him two days ago when we were able to squeeze in a quick lunch that was more kissing than eating, and I still couldn't wait to see him.
I didn't even let them knock on the door before I threw it open and I felt four arms wrap around my waist.
"Bella! Bella!" Maddie and Masen yelled at the same time, "It's so cool you get to have an elemevator in your house," Masen finished.
So fucking cute, I swear I could eat him up!
"Yes, Masen it's very cool to have an elemevator in my house. I'm glad you liked it so much," I told him, kissing he and Maddie on the head before turning my attention to my most favorite person.
"Hey Beautiful," Edward said to me as he flashed his trademark sexy ass grin at me and leaned in for a kiss.
I sighed, I couldn't help it. When he calls me that and looks at me that way, I just melt. "Hi baby," I told him returning his kiss a little more fervently.
Two damn weeks without those lips and seeing that gorgeous face…ugh!
"Bella, can we play with Rufus," Maddie asked me, interrupting my kiss to her father.
Oops, I kind of forgot we had an audience…note to self, Bella remember little eyes and ears are always watching and listening!
"Sure, peanut butter cup, his toys are in that basket by the sofa, dinner will be ready in a few minutes then it's time to play!" I told her as she grabbed Masen to get the toys out to play with a very excited Rufus.
I pulled Edward to the kitchen with me, trying to stay connected to him as much as possible. I had made the pizza crusts earlier in the day and pulled them out of the fridge and grabbed the toppings and started to put them together. I felt two strong arms wrap around my waist and a chin on my shoulder when I heard Edwards voice in my ear, "Baby, those look delicious. Is there anything I can help with?"
I giggled a little before I told him, "No, Edward, I think I can manage. Besides, if you helped me you would have to move, and I kind of like where you are right now," I finished as I brushed my ass back up against him.
I heard him breathe out through his nose as I felt it brush against my neck and ear before he said in a low voice, "Little girl, you better knock that shit off right now before you start something neither one of us can finish," and then I felt his tongue making circles on my sweet spot.
"Sorry baby," I said in the most insincere voice I could manage before bumping him off me to put the pizzas in the oven.
I noticed Edward as he glanced over towards the living room where the twins were happily engrossed in playing tug of war with Rufus and a rope before grabbing my hand and pulling me to him, his hands on my ass.
He pressed his forehead against my own, his green eyes full of emotion, as he said, "Bella, I am going to miss you so fucking much sweetheart. Fourteen damn days Bella. You will call, right? I mean, we'll still talk every night before we go to sleep won't we? And text, you'll still text me. I can't go that long with…"
I silenced him a finger, "Edward, honey…shh. Of course we'll still talk and I'll call you and the kids every night, I promise. I can even email you long letters if you want me to, ok? I know it's a long time to be away baby, and if I could change it, I would."
He took a deep breath before grabbing my face in his hands and bent down to kiss the end of my nose when he said softly, "Angel, I just don't think you understand. You are my life now and I can't stand the thought of you being so far away from me…and from them," he nodded his head in the direction of the two kids I love with all my heart.
I started to cry silently and tears began to leak from my eyes which Edward brushed away with his thumbs, "I'll miss all of you Edward, so much baby. But, it's only for a little while and then I'll be back before you know it," I finished softly.
He pulled me to him again, this time rolling his hips into mine before he said, "Bella, I can't wait for you to get back so that I can show you how much I will have missed you…and I'll show you all night long. I can't wait to fucking touch you again, baby."
The timer going off on the oven cut our moment short and I had to step away from him to take the pizzas out and get the rest of the food ready.
We had a picnic on the floor, the kids excitedly telling me about their week at school and the birthday party they went to the day before. Everyone liked the pizza, even Rufus who managed to beg for a few bites here and there.
As we were finishing up, Masen asked me, "Jelly Bean, do you think you can come to my t-ball game on Monday night?"
I looked at Edward sadly before I turned my attention to Masen, "Skittles, sweetie, I can't on Monday, I'm so sorry. Remember I'm leaving tonight to go on my trip. I wish I could though, I would love to watch you play."
"Oh, I forgot," Masen sadly said.
Shit….I hated this!
I looked at Edward again; asking a silent question which he knew and nodded his head at me.
"Hey Mase, but guess what?" I asked him, hoping what I was about to tell him would help.
He looked at me but didn't say anything, still looking so sad. "I asked your daddy and he said you and Maddie could take Rufus home with you so you guys can watch him while I'm gone. Will you do that for me, please?" I asked him.
Both Maddie and Masen looked from me to Edward so fast they looked like bobble head dolls before Maddie launched herself at her father and Masen landed on top of me.
"Really? We really get to take him home with us?" Masen squealed at me while Maddie was busy kissing Edward all over his face.
"Really, Skittles," I told him, "I can't take him with me and I figured he'd be happy staying with you," I finished with a kiss on his cheek.
"Thanks Jelly Bean, we'll take good care of him won't we Maddie," he asked his sister who was already nodding her head in response.
"Ok, now that that's all settled, let's clean the dishes up and play some Rock Band, I'm ready to show you three my mad drumming skills!" I laughed at all of them as I began gathering the dishes off the coffee table and took them to the kitchen.
I felt Edward beside me before I heard him as he leaned in close and told me, "You're amazing Bella, I don't know what we ever did to get you, but we're never letting you go," he kissed me softly on the cheek before walking away.
Please, please don't ever let me go, I thought to myself.
We got the game set up and got down to business. Edward was hilarious trying to play the drums and I wasn't much better on the guitar. The kids cracked themselves up trying to sing and watch the two of us at the same time, missing more notes than they hit. Edward hammed it up when it was his turn to sing and Masen was surprisingly really good on the drums. Hmmm, I might have to spend some time with him exploring that later, after I get enough courage to tell Edward I can play!
I took my turn on the drums, but it was hard to not let instinct take over. I wasn't quite ready for that big reveal yet. I started playing as an outlet from all the things that happened with Renee and Charlie and loved it so much that I got really, really good. I'm not embarrassed about playing; I'm just not ready to explain to Edward why I started in the first place.
Maddie had taken a break from singing and was walking around the loft looking at the pictures on the wall.
I heard her ask, "Bella is that your mommy?" as she pointed to a picture of Seth, Sue and I taken at First Beach a few years ago.
My hands stilled immediately as I winced at the word mommy. I noticed Edward watching me carefully. I knew I had avoided this subject every time it had come up in conversation. I thought I had successfully diverted his attention when my family was brought up but by the intense look in his eyes, I'm guessing I didn't do a good job.
"Um, no sweetie, that's my friend Seth's mom Sue," I answered as I swallowed thickly.
"Oh, well is that your mommy and daddy?" She asked as she pointed to a picture of Rose and me with her parents at my sixteenth birthday party.
Renee was too busy out of town to be there for my birthday. Bitch…
I took a deep breath as Edward's eyes narrowed even more, waiting just as expectantly for the answer as his daughter. "No Maddie, those are my friends Jasper and Rose's parents."
I could feel the tears start to come so I stood up and went to the kitchen. I was grabbing the milk out of the fridge so we could have dessert when I felt Edward grab my hand and crush me to him, wrapping his arms around me.
I started sniffling, refusing to cry when I heard him gently say, "Bella, angel, you've got to let me in baby. Please. You can talk to me, I need you to. Trust me sweetheart, please."
God I wanted to tell him, tell him everything about Renee and Charlie and James and just…all of it. I knew it was coming, I knew I had to tell him.
But, not now. Not when I am leaving in a few hours for two weeks to the other side of the fucking country.
I wrapped my arms around him, and I squeezed him as hard as I could, pressing my cheek right on his heart. I could feel its strong heartbeat and it made me feel safe and complete and loved.
I knew Edward loved me, just as I loved him, but I couldn't tell him yet. Not until I gave all of myself to him…the good and the bad.
I shook my head at him before I answered, "I do trust you Edward, with everything I am. I will tell you, just give me a little more time please. I'm sorry; I want to tell you, I do. But…just a little longer, please?"
"Of course my love, all the time you need you'll get. Just know I am always here for you Bella, always, okay?" He asked as he kissed me softly on the lips.
I whispered to him, "Thank you Edward and I'll always want you here. I will tell you everything, I promise."
I did always want him and I would tell him…soon.
We had milk and cookies before the kids helped me pack Rufus's toys in a bag and get him in his kennel so Edward could take him home.
Edward carried him to the elevator and I walked with the kids going down to the car with them. I said a tearful good bye to Maddie and Masen, knowing I loved them as much as if they were my own. I told them I would still call them every night and that I would bring them back a surprise from California. Edward got them settled in their seats and shut the door before he slowly turned to me.
He grabbed me, holding me close to him as I cried. I didn't want to go and be away from the three of them…my family…for 2 weeks. And they were my family, the three most important people in the world to me.
"Shh, Bella, it's ok. Baby…shh…it'll be fine, you'll see," Edward crooned, trying to calm me down.
I held onto him tighter, feeling that if I let go I would fall apart.
He let me stand there, quietly running his fingers through my hair until I was able to take a deep breath and look at him before I told him, "I'm sorry Edward. I am just going to miss you so much."
"I'll miss you more angel," he told me after brushing my hair behind my ears. He bent forward and kissed my forehead, "I'll be thinking of you every moment baby, counting down the minutes until you come home to me, to all of us Bella. I meant what I said upstairs Bella, you are my life now, there is nothing more important to me than you…nothing sweet girl."
"I feel the same Edward." I told him. "You better go, the kids need to get to bed and I have to get ready to go before Seth has a heart attack. I'll send you a text and let you know when I land; it'll be too early here to call you when I get there."
"No, angel, call me, please. I won't be able to relax until I know you are there safe and I hear your voice, ok? Promise me," he said as he kissed me deeply.
Steeling myself I pulled away from him, "I promise baby, now go before I stow away in the car and go home with you instead," I giggled lightly as I pushed him towards the car.
I stood there and watched as he got in the car and got ready to go. I pressed my fingers to my lips and then lifted them into the air blowing him a kiss in our secret way and watched him do the same in return before he backed up and drove off.
Taking my heart with him.