Later, baby… Damn if it doesn't turn me the hell on when she calls me baby. No one has EVER called me that before and I never would have imagined liking it as much as I do, shocks the shit out me actually.
Of course, most everything Bella does, I like.
I like when she smiles at me, I like when she doesn't wear any shoes and I can see her cute little feet. I like when she rolls her eyes at me, too.
There are also quite a few things about my Bella that I love…and yes I did just use the word love. I love when she teases me, don't ask me why, but I fucking do. I love the way she says my name, I think I may have mentioned that a time or ten already. I love her hair, I could spend hours upon hours just running my fingers through it, feeling the soft strands float through the tips of my fingers.
I fucking loved, like totally lose my shit loved, seeing her in my shirt. If I could have taken a picture of her when she walked out of her room this morning in my shirt, I would have. Blown that sucker up, too, and hung it on the ceiling above my bed to look at every night I go to bed. Not going to lie, seeing her in just my shirt and nothing else would be better but, damn, she looked so fucking good.
To be perfectly honest, there isn't anything I don't like about Bella. Oh, I am not trying to delude myself or anything, I am sure she is not perfect, but I am going to live in my bubble in my perfect world with a perfect Bella…at least until I find out differently.
Hell, even after the clusterfuck that was last night, she was perfect.
Sleeping next to her last night and holding her tiny warm body next to mine, yeah, that was pretty damn perfect, too. I'm not sure if Bella knows this or not, but, she talks in her sleep. It caught me by complete surprise the first time I heard her quietly say my name, but, I truly thought my heart would explode out of my chest when I realized she was sleeping…and obviously dreaming about me. I sure as hell hope there is no other Edward she would be talking to in her dreams!
She got a little restless while I was laying in bed going over my talk with Seth in my mind but, I just held her close to me, murmuring softly to her until she quieted down. She only said a few words in her sleep but they were very telling ones. She said 'please stay' more than a few times, 'I'm sorry' also made an appearance. However the ones that made me almost fall out of bed was 'want you'.
The woman truly tests the limits of my self restraint; there is no denying that fact at all. I want her with an intensity that quite literally scares the shit out of me. Her body calls to mine and when I was lying in bed with her, feeling her close to me, I knew then how much I do indeed want Bella. There is an ache, a pull of her body to mine. I can feel my body respond just by being close to her. It is so contradictory, being close to her calms me but it lights my entire body on fire too.
I'm 32 years old and while I may not have had very many relationships, intellectually I am able to differentiate between what it means to be in a relationship that is based on a truly deep and meaningful connection and those that are just surface ones.
My parents have the type of relationship I have always aspired to achieve; my aunt and uncle as well. I know, instinctually I guess is the best word, that Bella is the one that is meant for me. She is the one that I have been waiting for. Every cheesy love song and every clichéd movie is enveloped in Bella. My mind, body and most importantly, my heart recognizes this as the absolute truth. I'm not really afraid of this fact, I'm only afraid of screwing it up somehow.
Taking a cab home, I think over my discussion with Jasper.
Scary motherfucker that dude is.
I was still chuckling to myself as I watched Bella get sent to her room so that he could talk to me. Tiger my ass, she's such a kitten… so fucking adorable. Jasper cleared his throat at me to get my attention. I may have, quite possibly, been looking at Bella's ass as she walked into her room.
Jasper began to talk, and I listened. His over protectiveness is much different from Seth's. Whereas Seth jokes around, Jasper is deadly serious about Bella and her safety. Not that Seth makes light of it, there is just less intensity coming from Seth than Jasper.
Jasper asked me questions about the kids, about my job and my family. He wanted me to tell him a little about my parents and Alice and Emmett. I didn't question, I just answered.
I kind of get where he is coming from; his sister Rose, Bella and Seth are the only family he has left. Bella had told me a little about each of her three best friends one night while we were talking on the phone. I know that Seth's dad died when they were only 13 and Jasper and Rose's parents were killed in that car accident when they were seventeen.
Being so far away has to be difficult on him, too. I understand all that. So, I patiently sat and let him have his say. How I better treat Bella right, and not hurt her. How I need to understand about the modeling thing and what all that entails. How I need to make sure she is always safe.
I get the feeling from listening to him, that there is much more to this than just trying to intimidate me. Does the man really think that I am going to be intimidated by someone 8 years younger than me?
Not to sound like too much of a pussy, but I am…a little.
These people - Seth, Jasper and Rose are Bella's family and the most important and influential people in her world. What they say about me and about our relationship will be important to her. I can't deny that. I also realize that if Bella and I continue to see each other, which damn well better be the case, they will all be a part of my life, too.
That's the way life is. You meet someone and your circle becomes larger. I am old enough to realize that sometimes this can be a really good thing, like filling in all the missing pieces of a puzzle. I have no problem with this at all. There isn't anyone out there that can't use more friends and that includes me.
I know after the twins were born that I closed myself off from everyone except for my family and Ben and Tanya. I didn't love Lauren in the least but her manipulation and lies did a number on me in terms of being able to trust myself to make the right decisions in regards to my personal relationships. So in order to not go through that again, I simply avoided them all together.
I was so focused on raising Maddie and Masen and with being a good father that I never noticed the lack of having someone to share things with until the kids got older and depended less on me for every little thing. With their independence came my realization that I was tired of being alone all the time. But I wouldn't settle, I knew I wanted the type of relationship I watched my parents nurture my whole life and knew there was no way in hell I would accept anything less.
Jasper and I continued to talk, he told me a few stories about Bella and Seth and Rose. Some I will definitely be asking for clarification on. I have begun to notice that the subject of Bella's family is one that is not often discussed…by anyone. I keep telling myself to give her time to tell me but I can't deny that I am anxious to find out about them.
He really is not a bad guy, in fact if I'm being honest; I can see us becoming very good friends. He has a very calm demeanor about him and seems to really listen as you talk to him. I've never really met anyone like him before that's for sure. He seems to be able to see right through you and I can't imagine Jasper ever putting up with anyone's bullshit.
Bella adores him and his feelings for her are blatantly obvious. I did my best to ensure him that I did care about Bella a lot and that this was not going to be some quick thing for me. I tried to be as open with him as I could without revealing too much. Not an easy thing to do with someone who looks at you like he can read every thought you've ever had before, but, I think I managed.
He seemed okay with everything and by the time Bella came out of her room, we were laughing at something he was telling me about Seth.
I noticed Bella out of the corner of my eye but it wasn't until she walked closer to me that I realized she was wearing my shirt. I swear to fucking god my heart felt like it fell out of my ass and my dick felt like it was hard as a damn rock. Images of Bella and I, naked arms and legs, her laid out on a bed, me hovering above her, staring into her bottomless brown eyes, flash in my mind, in rapid succession.
The woman makes my body ache with want for her.
She looks hot as hell in my shirt; hopefully she'll be keeping that with her here for awhile. I'm thinking numerous cold showers are going to be in my future as I imagined her walking around in my shirt…and nothing else.
Glancing at her, she smirked at me. Yep, I am so busted. The little minx knows exactly what is going through my mind but she doesn't seem to mind it a bit.
I heard Jasper chuckling at me. Son of a bitch, I forgot he was still there, way to go Cullen!
He gives me a look like 'Yeah, man, I know exactly what you were thinking, you're lucky I'm 2000 miles away or you'd be a dead man' and I just look back at him like, 'Dude, you're 2000 miles away, what the fuck are you going to do about it?'.
I totally win that argument and I'm not too proud to admit that I'm happy as shit that Jasper is, indeed, 2000 miles the fuck away from here or else he would seriously kick my ass.
He tells me it was good to meet me and to remember what he said about Bella and for me to let her know he'll be calling her later or tomorrow.
Then… the kiss; that fucking kiss rocked my world, no doubt about it. I didn't want to stop kissing her, in fact I wouldn't have minded standing against that island and kiss her all damn day long. Slowly, Edward; I have to keep reminding myself not to rush things with Bella. We have time…all the time in the damn world.
Walking into the house after the cab dropped me off at home, I hear the sounds that make my life worth every damn thing Lauren ever did to me.
The twins were in the living room in the middle of a wrestling match with their Uncle Emmett from the looks of things…I think they are winning since he is laid out on the floor, one kid wrapped around each of his tree trunk sized legs. The house is full of their laughter and there is no way I would want it to be any different…except having Bella here with me.
"Hey guys," I said as I walked into the room, Maddie and Masen released their Uncle from their grasp as they launched themselves at me.
"Daddy!" they each exclaimed to me.
I love my kids, more than my own life. "Morning guys, you're not beating up your old Uncle Emmett too badly now, are you?" I asked as I looked at my brother, laughing at him breathing deeply on the floor.
He groaned as he lifted his 34 year old body up off the floor. He may be older than me but the man is in such good shape, he could easily pass for a man ten years younger. Judging from the wide range of ages in women he dates he's obviously quite able to keep up with just about anyone…except maybe for twin seven year olds.
He is a former professional football player and still has the body to go along with it. He's extremely successful. The security business he runs with Ben has many high profile clients and he is always busy consulting with old clients and meeting new ones.
Like me, he has not found the one person to share his life with…not for lack of trying however! The man goes on more dates than Demetri does. It will take one special lady to be able to handle Emmett Cullen. His personality is as big as he is but so is his heart. How many 34 year olds would give up a date night to come hang out at home with his niece and nephew, as well as his little sister?
I love my brother, fiercely. While it is true that our personalities are the complete polar opposite of each other, the respect we share for one another shines through loud and clear. I've often told him that I envy his easy going manner. Throughout high school it was hard to be in his shadow sometimes. He was everyone's favorite person, loved by all who were around him. He was athletic, smart and funny. His good looks didn't hurt either.
I was always so controlled of my emotions that I was jealous of him and I am ashamed to say it did put a strain on our relationship for a time. Well, until he threatened to kick my ass from here to next week if I didn't knock it off. We hashed it out over a game of one on one basketball, which I am extremely proud to say I schooled his ass in. He might be big, but I am way faster.
Now, I just love the hell out of him and enjoy every moment we get to spend together which is regrettably not often enough.
The Wonder Twins are rolling on the floor laughing as Emmett exaggerates greatly the difficulty of getting up off the floor; well they are laughing until he reaches over and picks them both up at the same time tucking one under each of his arms.
"You think that's funny do you? You just wait till next time munchkins, I'll get you back, don't you worry!" He told them as he kissed them each on the head before sending them to the kitchen for a snack.
He flopped on the sofa, closing his eyes for a moment before he opened them to look at me. "Damn, Ed, I'm getting old man. Those kids of yours wear me the hell out!" he laughed at me.
"What the fuck ever, Em. You're in better shape than I am and I can still keep up with them," I told him back.
He chuckled to himself and said, "Don't you forget it little bro. I can still kick your ass if I need to. Speaking of," he paused as he raised his eyebrows to me, "Do I need to kick your ass for doing something stupid last night? Where the hell were you that kept you out until after noon…the day after a date? You didn't fuck things up already with your girl did you?" he finished with a scowl on his face.
I sighed deeply, answering him truthfully, "Honestly Em, about 7:30 last night I was about to come home and beg you to beat the shit out of me. But, Bella being the amazing Bella she is let me off the hook pretty damn quick. We just had some things to work out and she asked me to stay and I…" I stutter before taking a breath, "I just couldn't leave her. It was hard enough this morning, last night would have been impossible, not to mention the biggest fucking mistake of my life."
He looked shocked but asked "Things are ok now though right? Especially considering that big ass smile you get just from saying her name."
I snickered to myself before answering, "Yeah Em. Things are pretty much damn perfect. We might see her later when I take the kids out this afternoon."
I really can't help the tingle of pleasure that thought brings me, especially knowing now I can kiss her whenever the hell I feel like it. And kissing her is something I will definitely feel like doing, along with a hundred other things that won't be appropriate for public viewing.
"Good to know brother. I'm really happy for you. I don't have to tell you that your kids think she walks on water, do I? I mean I'm about ready to fall in love with her myself from as much as those two talked about her. If I didn't know I was the most amazing person I know, I might be jealous," he laughed as he poked me in the ribs.
Damn, that fucking hurts like a bitch!
I growled at him, rubbing my side, "Keep your damn hands off my woman, find your own," I told him, not really joking at all.
Bella is all mine and I wasn't kidding in the least when I told her I don't like to share. Never have and never will and certainly not when it comes to my Bella.
I heard Emmett snort at me, "Dude, chill the fuck out. I'm just messing with you. Damn, Ed. But, honestly, Maddie and Masen could not stop talking about her. When do we get to meet the very popular Miss Bella?" he asked me.
"Sorry, bro. Last night and this morning were a little rough and I guess I'm still nervous about it all. And as for meeting her, she has to go out of town next week for two weeks, so you won't meet her until at least after that. That is, if I can keep my shit straight until then," I answered him dejectedly.
I am incredibly happy with the way Bella and I left things this morning but I can't help the feeling of unease at the thought of her being gone for two weeks in California.
Shit, what if he doesn't like me? What if he was just being nice this morning when we were talking? I have a feeling that what he thinks goes a lot further with Bella than what Seth thinks.
Calm down Edward, I mentally tell myself. Counting to ten in my head, I release some of the tension building up inside of me. I know that what Jasper thinks is important, Seth and Rose as well, but I also know how Bella feels about me. It is in every kiss and look she gives me. It's in the way she smiles at me and the way she touches me. I know, even if she doesn't. Besides, that electricity that flows around us when we are together can't be ignored.
Emmett nudges my leg with his and asked, "Do you want to talk about it Edward?"
He may be a goof ball, but my big brother will always be here for me if I need him…always without fail.
"Nah, Em, it's ok. Thanks for the offer though. I'm fine, just freaked myself out there for a moment. If I need you, I know where to find you," I told him gratefully.
He stood up from the couch, getting ready to go, "You know it bro. Anytime."
Emmett called the kids down to say good bye to them and told me he'd talk to me later in the week. Ben has a new girl he's seeing so Emmett is going to be meeting with a few extra clients this week. Seems like this new girl is leaving to go out of town soon and Ben wants to spend all the time with her as he can…advice I think I might take myself in regards to my sweet girl.
Speaking of, I call the kids over and talk about what we want to do this afternoon. Since we haven't been to the zoo yet, we decide to go there and I tell Maddie and Masen to go get ready as I pull my phone out of my pocket and call Bella to see if she can come meet us for dinner when we're through. She agrees to meet us at 6:30 at Saul's deli.
I would ask her to come with us, but it's the last day of our vacation and I feel like I need to spend a few hours alone with them before we get back to our busy schedules.
Dividing my attention between the kids and Bella is going to take some getting used to. There is a part of me that would love nothing more that to spend every available moment with her but I know I can't do that, nor do I really want to. Maddie and Masen have always come first, and having Bella in my life is not going to change that. My priorities will just have to shift a little bit. I've put off doing things for myself for such a long time now; it's time to change that.
I want Bella, and I know I won't be truly happy until I make her mine.
I text Seth real quick letting him know what our plans are. He caught me this morning as I was taking the elevator down to the bottom floor and wanted to talk to me for a minute. He let me know he was happy that Bella and I worked out what happened last night and that I knew everything now. Well, everything about Bella's job that is. We exchanged phone numbers and I gave him my office pager number as well. He told me that he didn't mind if we had time alone every now and then but I had to promise to always be aware of our surroundings and to text him periodically to let him know everything was okay.
All this is going to take some serious getting used to but at this point I'm willing to do whatever it takes to be with Bella. At the age of 32 I thought I was done with checking in with people, but I understand he's only doing his job and has Bella's safety at heart.
Maddie and Masen come barreling down the stairs, excited as all get out to head to the zoo. We walk and they talk, and talk, and talk. They had a great time with Ali and Emmett last night and are full of stories from their night. I laugh in all the right places, a small twinge of guilt creeps up as I realized what I missed. But, I can't help but feel it was worth it because of Bella.
Yeah, this is going to take some getting used to.
"Daddy," my sweet daughter asked me as she holds my hand.
"Yes princess?" I answered, grinning at her. She is the sweetest little girl…like ever!
We have made it to the park and are now walking towards the zoo entrance.
"Um, well, Aunt Ali said that, well, um, well she told us last night you were goin to spend the night out, and well, I was wonderin did you stay with Uncle Dem?" Maddie asked me.
Ok, well shit. I suppose I could lie, but I won't. I have always promised myself to be honest with my children, and well, this might not be something they can truly understand, but I figured now is as good a time as any to talk to them.
I pulled them each to a park bench and sat in the middle of my two kids as I get ready to have a discussion I really didn't envision having any time soon.
"Ok, guys, here's the deal. You know how I've always told you, you can ask me anything and I promised to always answer, right?" I asked each of them.
Since they nodded their heads to me, I continued, "Well, that's still true, ok? Last night I had a date with Bella. And, well," I took a deep breath here, knowing I was skirting the truth but still telling them where I was, just not the whole reason for it, "Bella got sad last night and I didn't want her to be by herself so I stayed with her to make sure she was ok."
Not the whole truth, I know. But, I can't very well tell my seven year old son and daughter that I couldn't bear to leave her again after acting like such a damn fool before, now can I?
"Is she better now, Daddy?" Masen asked me while at the same time Maddie asked, "Why was she sad?"
Deciding Masen's question is a hell of a lot easier to answer, I told him, "Yeah, buddy, she's good now. In fact, she's going to meet us for dinner when we're done here, isn't that great?"
The happy squeals of joy let me know they think so.
"But Daddy," my little girl asked in that tone of voice that lets me know her question isn't about to go unanswered.
"Yes, baby?" I resignedly asked her.
"Why was Bella sad?"
"Well, Maddie, Daddy and Bella were talking about something that upset her and made her cry." I answered.
"Did you make her cry?" my son asked, letting me know he would not be happy with me if my answer was yes, but I just promised them I wouldn't lie to them.
Shit…it sucks to not be the favorite any longer.
"Yes, Mase, I did. And I told her I was sorry and now things are all better, ok?" I begged my son.
Begged…a seven year old…my son!
How fucking whipped am I already?
"Well, why did you make her mad Daddy?" Maddie asked me.
I hold my hands up and told both of them, "Ok, you two listen. I know I've told you I will answer any question you have if I can, but there is some stuff that is just between me and Bella, got it? She's meeting us in 3 hours, so let's get inside and see some animals, ok?" I asked, effectively cutting short the Grand Inquisition.
I swear those two could give Esme and Alice a run for their money in the interrogation department!
We spend a fun and laugh filled afternoon walking around the zoo. I try really hard to keep focused on the kids but I can't help but let my mind wander to thoughts of a certain brown haired and brown eyed beautiful girl who I can't fucking wait to kiss again.
I've never been so lovesick over a woman in my life. I remember in junior high school when I had a crush on Grace McKenzie when I was in the seventh grade. I wrote her name all over my notebooks, we sat together at lunchtime, went to the movies on the weekends. She was all I thought about it seemed like 24 hours a day.
This is nothing like that. This is all consuming, like I just want to lose myself in my thoughts of Bella. I never felt this way about Caitlin and we all certainly know that there were no feelings like this between Lauren and I, so this is all brand new.
Surprisingly enough, I'm not one damned bit scared of any of this. The fact that my body already recognizes when she is near is proof enough that she is it for me. I could dwell on the fact that I wish we had met sooner, but in all reality, if I was younger, this all might be enough to scare me away. I'd like to think that I'm older now, and a hell of a lot wiser than I was years ago and I know what I want and I know I'm not going to stop until I get it.
Of course, if we had met much sooner, there would probably be no doubt that Bella would not have been ready to be involved with someone with kids, but I don't know. Maybe we could have, but now, I know she is and that's really all that fucking matters.
Before I know it, it's time for us to head to the deli and I can't help but smile at the butterflies I feel in my stomach knowing that I'll be looking at my girl in less than 30 minutes and I can't fucking wait.
Maddie and Masen are just as excited as I am, straining their little heads to try to see Bella as we approach the deli. They are talking back and forth with each other when I look up and see her, waiting for us. My heart literally stopped, then started beating frantically in my chest at the thought of her waiting …for me. I smile hugely at her, before leaning down and telling the kids to look ahead, waiting for their reaction.
They don't disappoint as I watch their head snap in her direction and go flying down the sidewalk to her waiting arms, wrapping their little arms around her.
The sight is so heartbreakingly tender that if I stopped to think about it too long, I'd drop down to my knees and beg her to come home with us and never leave. Instead, I let the feeling of being near her fill my body, deliciously enjoying the warmth from our electricity crackling all around us as I walk up to my three favorite people in the world.
I smirked at her and told her she looked incredible as I leaned down to kiss her on the cheek and then, not being able to resist the way she smelled, moved my nose along her cheek until I reached the spot behind her ear and kissed her there. Yeah, sweet girl totally gave away the way kissing that spot makes her melt and I have no shame in using it again…and again.
Once we have all calmed down from seeing Bella, yes I know I'm no better than a seven year old, we go in the deli and when Saul sees us walk in he comes to greet us personally. He hugs the kids and listened patiently as Maddie told him all about the zoo and her displeasure with snakes.
I introduced Bella to Saul and told him she's my girlfriend. Do I have to turn in my man card if doing that makes me want to jump up and down for joy and break out in song? Cause I do. I really, really do want to do just that. Repeatedly and loudly to anyone that cares to listen to me say Bella is my girlfriend.
Ok, so I didn't really like the fact that the old man thinks my Bella is beautiful and tried to flirt with her, sue me.
Edward, my man, I begin to tell myself, you need to chill the fuck out, first Emmett and now Saul. Get a grip dude!
I order for the four of us, assuming Bella wants what she had the last time and watched as she and Maddie have what looks like a very serious conversation. I see Bella ask my daughter a question and then a huge smile and nod from Maddie in response. Then they are both smiling and laughing.
God help me she is so beautiful.
I walked over and pulled Bella close to me, my body instantly knowing it's her beside me as I ask my two girls what they were laughing about.
"Well, it seems someone used the word girlfriend before checking to see if said word was acceptable and little miss had a question so naturally I took care of it," Bella told me as she smiled at me.
Holy fucking shit, I am such a damn idiot…again.
Wait, she doesn't seem mad so that's a good thing right? I should have asked her first before introducing her that way. And, hell, I haven't even talked to the kids about this either. What if they aren't happy about this? Judging from the look Maddie is giving both Bella and I, I'm guessing we really don't have to worry, but I should have waited to use that word until I talked to Bella about it.
I pulled Bella closer to me and whispered in her ear, "Shit, baby, I didn't even think when I introduced you to Saul. It's ok I called you my girlfriend, isn't it? I mean, that's what you are, aren't you? And I didn't even think about the kids, damn it. Was she ok?" I asked in rapid succession.
I felt her put her little finger on my lips to shut me the hell up. Is it bad that I wanted to stick my tongue out of my mouth and lick it, or ask her to put it in my mouth? She told me she was ok with it and so was Maddie so that stopped my mini freak out dead in the water - until she told me I get to be the lucky one to tell Masen.
Crushes to seven year old boys are big time serious things and I really don't relish having to talk to Mase about this…not one bit. He's had a crush here or there on a teacher or a little girl from school, hell he even had one on Tanya for awhile, but his love for Bella is to the moon and back - several times.
I snorted at Bella as I grabbed our tray of food and drinks and told her sarcastically, and smirked, "Thanks angel, really. You know you got the easy one."
If I wasn't so insanely crazy about her, I might really be mad. Telling Masen might not be any fun at all.
I led my group outside to sit, scanning the other diners as well as the street in front of us, like Seth reminded me to. It doesn't look like anyone has recognized Bella. I see a few people do a double take as they take notice of her walking to sit down, but that could very well be because she is the most breathtaking woman here.
Yeah, I'm not the least bit biased.
I pulled out my phone to text Seth like he asked and I heard Bella groan softly beside me. Too bad, baby, my look tells her.
I've got my orders from Seth and I'm not about to take Bella's safety for granted, no fucking way, so she'd better learn to deal, and quick.
After giving her a pointed look, which she returned with a resigned smile, I passed out the food and we began to eat. The kids are happily filling her in on their week and asked her about Rufus. She mentioned playing with him again, so maybe we can do that next Sunday.
Hmmm, it seems like our Sunday's have grown to now include Bella, not minding that turn of events one damn bit!
Bella motioned me with her head to talk to Mase and I tried to get his attention but he is watching Bella and Maddie with a weird expression on his face. Bella asked him what was wrong but a shrug of his little shoulders is the only answer he gives.
Ok, I know my boy, and this is not usual Masen Cullen behavior at all.
I watched Bella as she went to sit beside him, trying to get him to talk to her. After a few minutes of coaxing on her part, he told her what the matter was. And what does my amazing girlfriend do? Fixed it right up, quick as shit too.
I watched my Bella in complete amazement. She is so fucking incredible with them and I am in total awe of the beautiful woman I am lucky enough to call my girlfriend.
I am such a lucky bastard, no denying that fact.
Of course, I wound up with the three of them ganging up on me and with a cringe worthy nick name too, I might add. I did feel a little better when I stuck Bella in the same boat as me, as juvenile as that sounds. I also have to admit the idea of calling Bella 'Jelly Bean' doesn't make me want to vomit like it probably should…and if I am forced to admit this as well, I probably won't mind when she calls me Kit Kat either.
Yes, I am a pussy…I am totally aware of this.
Maddie and Masen had quite the laugh at our expense, but it was a wonderful sight. I cannot even being to comprehend how Bella has changed all of our lives in such a short amount of time, but she truly has. Maddie isn't the shy, reserved girl she normally is when Bella is not around. Masen is always sweet and funny, but he lights up from the inside just when he looks at her. And me, well, I am insane over Bella. Truly.
I glanced at my watch and cringed a little on the inside when I noticed the time. I promised Seth Bella would be home before dark so she needs to go before he is on my ass, already.
Truthfully, it broke my heart a little watching the three of them say good bye to each other, but I steeled myself with the thought that maybe we can all get together during the week sometime or at least I'll let the kids talk to Bella on the phone if she doesn't mind. I'll have to mention that to her.
I watched the kids sit back down at the table to wait for Bella and I to say good bye. Ok, now my heart is breaking a little more and I know exactly how Maddie and Masen felt. This sucks…big time.
We got our good byes out of the way and I told her how amazing she was with the kids. She has no idea her effect on them, I'm sure. I told her she needed to get on home before dark and chastised her when she threw a fit over being told what to do.
Not happening with me little girl, no way no how, and I stopped that shit quickly. She is going to have to learn to deal with me being over protective, it's just how I am.
Of course when she demanded a kiss so she could go, I couldn't deny her, now could I? The resulting sigh I heard after I pulled away, very regretfully I might add, did nothing to stop my ego from inflating to an unnatural level. And when she called me Kit Kat…images of hot, frantic sex with Bella raced through my mind so fast I thought my head would explode.
After a promise to call her later, I grab Maddie and Masen and head for home, knowing that I have fallen even more in love with Bella Swan.
I didn't think it was possible.
I called her around 9:30 when the kids got to bed. I can't remember the last time I was so excited to get on the phone with someone. Bella has the most amazing voice, it's sweet, but its kind of husky at the same time. All I know is it turns me the fuck on like no other, and when she says my name in that voice I feel like my dick could cut through glass.
It felt good to talk over the last two days with her, if only to reinforce what we both already told each other about how we feel. We laughed about Maddie and Masen making fun of us at dinner. I asked her out on another date for Friday night after she reminded me of her schedule for the week. I can't wait to try this first date thing again, let's just hope I don't fuck this one up, too.
We say good night but not before I remind her how much I am looking forward to watching her on David Letterman tomorrow night. That stops me for a moment as the thought that my girlfriend is going to be on national TV for the entire country to see.
Kind of freaked myself out with that thought; at the same time, it makes me extraordinarily proud, too. Of all the men that she could choose, Bella chose me. I smiled when she told me to watch for a secret signal just for me, can't wait to see what it is!
The next morning came bright and early and the kids were excited to be getting back to school. I was looking forward to seeing my patients again too, I had missed not being at the office all week. It usually takes a few days to get back into the swing of things when I return from vacation, that I didn't miss at all.
Arriving at the office after dropping the kids off at school, I get to work quickly, following up with patients and going over files. The day flies by and before I know it, it's time to go home for dinner. I can't wait to see Bella on TV tonight, I've been thinking about it all day long and I sent her a few texts throughout the day just to let her know I was thinking about her.
Dinner was enjoyable, having caught my parents up on the whole Bella situation. Luckily for me, the whole girlfriend talk with Masen was completely taken out of my hands when Maddie announced to Ma and Pop that I introduced her as my girlfriend to Mr. Saul at dinner yesterday. Masen's megawatt smile let me know he wholeheartedly approved, not to mention the smiles on my parents faces!
"Son, I can't begin to tell you how happy I am for you," my father answered me.
I want to tell him it's really not that big of a deal, but it really kinda is…huge as a matter of fact.
My parents have been extremely worried about me ever since the twins were born, hoping that someday I would find the person who is made for me. They are proud of me for the sacrifices I have made in order to be a good father to my children but that has not stopped them from being concerned that I sacrificed my happiness as well.
I answer my father sincerely, "Thanks Pop, I am happy for me, too."
"Edward, my boy," my mom is gushing to me, "Please let us meet her son. I want to meet the woman my grandchildren have fallen madly in love with and the one who has put that spring back in your step. Honey, you are truly radiating happiness," she finished with tears in her eyes.
I reached across the table to grab her hand in mine before I told her, "Mama, please just give me a little time, ok? I just called her my girlfriend for the first time less than 24 hours ago! I told Em and I'll tell you and Pop the same thing. Bella is going out of town next week for two weeks. Once she gets back, I'll see what I can do about bringing her home for dinner one night, ok?"
I want Bella to meet my parents I realized with a start. I can't wait as a matter of fact.
"Oh Edward, sweetie, your father and I will be leaving for Italy on the 19th of April with Uncle Marcus and Aunt Diane for our vacation," my mom told me sadly.
"We'll figure something out Mama, I promise," I told her.
I heard sniffling coming from beside me and when I looked up, both my son and daughter had tears coming from their eyes.
"Guys what in the world is the matter with the two of you," I asked incredulously.
They looked at me with their tear stained faces and said, "Daddy, you said Bella is going to leave, doesn't she love us anymore?"
I couldn't help it, I chuckled at my two precious loves, "You two didn't listen very good, did you? I said she was going to be out of town, she'll be coming back guys, I promise."
"Are you sure Daddy?" they asked simultaneously.
I just shook my head at them, out of the mouths of babes, huh? "Yes, I am sure, you know she likes you two too much to go anywhere for too long. Now, help Nana clean up the dishes and I'll go get your baths ready."
I kissed them each on the head and went upstairs to do just as I said, thinking about the conversation I just had the whole time.
Honestly, it scares me just a little to realize how enamored the twins are with Bella already. If anything were to happen, they would be completely devastated. It is a somewhat sobering thought…and something that probably requires further consideration.
Baths get done and kisses are given to all the grown ups in the house and then it is time for me to jump in the shower before calling Bella. I can't wait to see her on television later tonight.
I shed my clothes as I enter my room, walking straight into my bathroom and turned on the shower. Jumping in, I stand under the hot water, feeling my muscles relax as the water flowed down over my body. Immediately my thoughts turned to remembering Bella in my dress shirt, and of course in my mind she is wearing only the shirt. I envisioned her smooth, toned legs and her adorable little feet with the pink nail polish. Her gorgeous long brown hair, laying straight down her back, my fingers itching to find their way in between the silky smoothness; she bites her lip as she looked at me, knowing it drives me out of my fucking mind.
I reached for her, pulling her body into mine as I felt her wrap her legs around my waist. I kiss her forcefully; my tongue delving so deep into her mouth…her taste is so intoxicating. As I imagine ripping the shirt from her body, buttons flying everywhere, I reach down and grab my incredibly hard cock in my hand and begin to stroke up and down. In my mind I have Bella pressed up against a wall, her legs still tightly holding me to her, my mouth encircling one of her beautiful pert nipples, as one hand is frantically palming the other breast, squeezing and kneading. I can hear her moans of extreme pleasure in my mind as my hand begins to move faster and faster, the muscles of my legs tightening in expectation of release. My mind has Bella grabbing my hair, as she arches her back into me. The cock in my hand is so hard as it throbs from my hand's movement, my thumb sliding over the tip of my dick.
I imagine rubbing my erection against Bella's warm, wet center feeling the delicious friction we are making, my own hand pumping faster and faster now. I am so close to coming both in my mind and in reality. God in heaven I can't wait to feel her, to push myself into, feeling the muscles of her pussy squeeze me as I push deep inside of her. The heat, the excruciatingly pleasurable heat emanating from her wet pussy is almost more than my mind can fathom, the reality will surely blow my mind. I am so hard now, and so very close to my imminent release. With one last swipe of my thumb over the tip of my cock I feel myself explode as stream after stream of my release flows out of me.
Breathing deeply, I felt myself slowly begin to calm down, my whole body relaxing in gratitude for the freeing of my pent up energy. I won't go so far as to say frustration, because I'm not there…yet. But I want Bella so badly that my whole being aches for her.
Finishing my shower by washing my hair and my body, I turn the water off and grab a towel from the rack in the bathroom. I dry off and slip into a pair of basketball shorts, going commando underneath. My mind replaying some of the scenes I imagined in the shower as I relax on the bed for a few minutes before it is time to call my girl.
As it gets closer to show time, my stomach starts to feel like it is full of thousands of butterflies. I am nervous for her. Bella had told me how much she didn't like this part of her job commitment, and I hope it goes well for her.
I picked up the phone to call her as the show was starting, and she still sounds nervous. I laughed at her, she is so fucking cute she makes me want to curl up with her on my lap and just sit and hold her for hours at a time. As Dave announces who the guests are on the show, I hear the audience hoot and holler when they say Bella's name. I admitted to her that while I was immensely proud of her, a part of me is crazy with jealousy because I know that most of those sounds came from men…men who were about to be ogling my Bella.
She got really quiet on the phone as we watched her segment come on the television. I can't even speak as I watched her walk out on the stage so beautiful in a pair of black dress pants and dark green top. My body wants to jump through the phone and kiss Bella as I watched her raise her fingertips to her lips then raise them outwards in our special sign…a sign only for me.
Christ if that is not the most mesmerizing thing I have ever seen in my life.
I wanted to crawl through the phone and lie in bed with her, wrapping my entire body around hers and keep her with me…forever.
I want to touch her, hold her and god damn it I want to love her.
My mind is snapped to the sound of her voice coming at me from the phone as well as the television. I watched her talk to Dave, smiling that beautiful smile of hers, throwing her head back in laughter at something he says to her. I almost fell off my bed laughing as I watched her give him a basket full of our candy to him, secretly full of giddy joy at the fact that the only two people in the world watching understood the significance of that were her and I. Not one other damn person would understand and that made me feel closer to Bella than ever before.
The rest of the week flies by with each of us talking and sending text messages like a couple of teenagers. I don't give a flying fuck either. I have waited my whole damned life for this woman and I am going to enjoy every second of her. Call me a pussy or a chick or whatever other stupid ass name you want, I could give a shit less.
Working late at the hospital put a kink in some of my plans, and by the time Wednesday night rolls around I am desperate to hear her voice; one damn day without it and I'm like an addict going through withdrawals. Talking with her for a couple of hours quenches my thirst though and thankfully we are able to arrange to eat lunch together tomorrow.
I am definitely not counting that as a date - that comes Friday night. Thankful for the chance to redeem my sorry ass, I can't wait to take her to dinner on Friday. It's going to be spectacular and the first of many, many dates for my Bella and me.
Thursday dawns and a smile is immediately on my face as I realize that in just a few short hours I'll be able to look into the brown eyes of my sweet girl and hold her hand and bask in her presence.
Arriving at the office after I took the kids to school, my dad smirked at me as I walked past him to my office.
"Say hi to your Bella for me son," he told me as I sat down at my desk to pull up my calendar of appointments.
"Shut it Pop," I hollered down the hall to him, thankful there are no patients waiting yet.
His laugh is the only sound I get in reply.
I am through seeing patients by 11:30 and I practically bounced out the door to go meet Bella. I arrived at the restaurant a few minutes before she did, cringing a little as I noticed there is a small wait for a table. The only reason I am concerned is that the longer we have to wait to be seated, the more people have a chance to look at her and the greater probability she'll be recognized. There is a large group of businessmen waiting to be seated ahead of us and this makes me uneasy.
Of course as I soon as I started to feel that way, Bella walked in looking absolutely stunning in a straight black skirt that stops just above her knees and the sexiest deep blue top I have ever seen in my life. Well it's fucking sexy on my Bella, who the hell cares how it would look on anyone else? And her shoes, oh Jesus help me now, are black heels that make her legs look fucking phenomenal.
I enveloped her in a hug as soon as she is close enough for me to touch, my body relaxed into her body. I brush her hair back behind her ear as I lean in to her and gently dust her lips with mine, savoring the taste and feel of her lips beneath mine.
"Angel, you are so spellbindingly beautiful you literally take my breath away," I told her, whispering in her ear and feeling the sparks of electricity bouncing all around us as I inhaled the scent of her.
Pure Bella…so fucking mouthwatering.
I took her hand into my own and gripped it tightly, feeling like my body would fall apart at any moment with the amount of lust and need traveling through it.
I couldn't even speak to her, I just stood there, holding on to her hand like it was my lifeline. Which it was, it was my connection to her.
The host showed us to our table a moment later and as we walked through the small but crowded restaurant I couldn't help but notice the men at the table closest to ours staring at my beautiful girl. Not that she doesn't deserve the attention, because God help me she does, but I want to beat the shit out of every motherfucker in the place that stared at her.
Subconsciously I realized I was squeezing her hand too tightly in my growing jealous frenzy, but I couldn't release her hand until I helped her into her chair and then sat in my own.
Hearing her quiet voice as she asked me what was wrong was enough to instantly quell the flames that threatened to shoot out of my eyeballs at the group of men staring at my Bella.
After a proper chastisement from her we were both able to focus our attention only on each other and eat our lunch in peace, with the exception of an over zealous waiter that tended to hover right over Bella's shoulder. My glare might have sent him scurrying off to the kitchen, but I'm not positive.
As we finished our meal, I watched Seth get up and leave the restaurant. I had noticed him immediately when he arrived, but funnily enough, I completely forgot he was here and was able to focus completely on Bella. I am pleased he is so good at his job.
I grabbed her hand to walk her out to the waiting car when I noticed a small hallway off to the left of the foyer of the restaurant. I pulled her behind me until we were somewhat hidden from view and then pressed her into the wall behind her and began to kiss her.
I ached for her, truly I did and as I crashed my mouth onto hers I wanted nothing more in that very second than to bury myself so deep inside of her I would never want to come out. The woman was driving me out of my fucking mind and I was clueless as to how to stop it from happening, or whether I wanted it to.
Need, white hot fucking need is what I felt over every inch of my body. I needed Bella in a way that was completely foreign to me and I didn't know what to do with it. I kissed her deeply, my tongue thrusting in and out of her mouth in long deep strokes, my inflamed body crushing hers against the wall behind her. I kissed every part of her I could reach, her lips, her neck and that delectable spot behind her ear.
Thank goodness her phone rang, although I didn't feel that way when it did, but there is no telling how far I would have gone if we hadn't been interrupted. I wanted to apologize to her for assaulting her like I just did, but I couldn't, not when we both knew I wasn't sorry in the least bit.
We walked to the car where Seth was trying to patiently wait for us. Saying good bye was no more fun today than it has been any other time but when Bella told me she needed to go home to change her wet panties, I almost lost my shit right then and there, in the middle of the sidewalk.
The rest of the day passed in a haze of Bella, she is all I could think about and I wasn't sure I would be able to make until tomorrow night to see her again. I am seriously concerned that I might spontaneously combust from wanting her so desperately. It finally got so bad at the office that Tanya sent my ass home early, telling me…shit I have no idea what she told me, I couldn't even hear her because all I kept hearing in my mind was Bella telling me she had to change her panties because I made her so wet.
I somehow made it home in one piece and went straight to my room and changed my clothes. The kids were with my mom and I put on my running gear and got the hell out of the house before I went stark raving mad. I ran…and ran…and ran until my legs felt like lead weight and I was breathing so heavy it was almost painful. I finally calmed my spiraling emotions down after about 3 miles.
Almost calmed them that is.
Something was going to have to give; I just didn't know what that something was.
Friday I only had to work half a day and was finished seeing patients by the time the kids were done with school. I took them out for ice cream and they caught me up on the goings on at school with all their friends. They were excited about a birthday coming up for one of their classmates and we talked about what kind of present they wanted to get. We talked and reconnected and I loved and needed every damn second of it.
We made it home in time for me to jump in the shower and get ready for my date with Bella. I can't even begin to tell you how fucking excited I am to be going on this date with her! I talked to Demetri earlier in the week and he recommended a little out of the way Italian restaurant so that is where I am going to take her. After lunch yesterday, I wanted to take her someplace where we can have some privacy. Afterward, I am planning on taking her to this small little piano bar that is run by a friend of mine, Alec. I want to dance with Bella and hold her little body close to mine, and I want to be able to do it without an audience or interruptions.
I get dressed in my black suit, white dress shirt and deep red tie. Black dress shoes and watch and I am ready to go. I told Bella I would be picking her up by 7:00 and it's 6:45 now so after I kissed the twins and my parents good bye I go outside and hop in the BMW and head to the loft and my girl.
Seth had texted me instructions on parking in the underground parking garage below the loft, having sent the access code earlier in the day. I have to say that while the security measures he and Jasper have both taken to ensure Bella's safety are a little unnerving, they also calm the fears that have tended to creep up over the last week.
Seth and Jasper have both told me about some of the more extreme fan letters and messages that Bella has received in the past and even since the magazine cover has come out. I understood, in the abstract, what Bella meant when she warned me about that, but hearing it straight from Jasper and Seth, who value her safety so highly, scared the living daylights out of me. If anything were to happen to her…well, I can't even fathom that.
I entered the garage and made my way to the elevator to take me upstairs to Bella. My body hummed in anticipation of seeing her, holding her again. I arrived on the top floor and made my way to her door, taking a deep breath before I knocked. I heard her foot steps as she got closer to the door, the echo of her heels, thank you Jesus for those by the way, coming through the door.
As she opened it, my eyes began to immediately search for hers, my whole being anxious until it instantly calmed as mine found hers and the smile I had been waiting all fucking day to see. When the door was fully opened, I grabbed Bella and pulled her towards me, not being able to wait one more second before my lips found hers.
Our bodies completely in tune with the other, when she shifted, I accommodated, when she moved, I followed. How in the hell does this happen after only two damn weeks? How is it possible for me to know her body so instinctually and her mine when we've only been around each other a handful of times? Uncontrollable lust was racing through my body the longer the kiss went on and finally a rational thought managed to snake its way into my consciousness and I slowly began to pull away, fighting the urge to throw her down on the couch and rip her clothes off her stunning body.
When my head finally cleared itself of the lust induced haze I was in, I was able to take a good look at Bella.
Jesus fucking Christ if she is not a goddess; so beautiful she makes my heart hurt.
Bella is wearing a short, deep purple dress, cut so low that I can see the tops of her glorious breasts, but not so low as to be flaunting them for all the world to see. Her hair is absolutely perfect, half up so that I can see the lines of her graceful neck and her collar bones, which I may or may not have an unhealthy obsession with, and half down so that it is flowing gracefully down her back. High black heels and only a pair of earrings in her perfect ears and she is the most exquisite creature I have ever laid eyes on.
She looks like an angel…my angel.
The thing that is most beautiful about my sweet girl? She is just as pure and beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside. And the thing that is even better than that? That she has chosen to share that part of herself with me. From the little I know, and my heart aches to find it all out, Bella doesn't share herself with others…at all.
Only Jasper, Seth and Rose and now, by some gift from above…me.
I leaned down to kiss her neck and whispered in her ear, "My Bella, you are breathtaking. I can't wait to take you out and show the entire city that you are mine, and make no mistake baby, you are mine," I finished as I sucked gently on the spot sure to drive my girl insane.
She didn't disappoint as I heard her sharp intake of breath and watched her bite that bottom lip that makes me bat shit crazy.
I reached over to pry her lip out from between her teeth and told her "Angel, I'd like to kiss that lip later, so you need to stop with the torture, if you don't mind?"
Bella blushed, as she looked at me and said, "Edward, you look so handsome. I've never seen you dressed up before, it suits you."
My chest filled with pride at that, knowing that she realized I wanted this night to be special.
I grabbed her hand and began to walk towards the door as she grabbed her purse, cell phone and keys on the way out the door.
"Come, my love, our reservations are in 30 minutes, we need to get out of here or we'll be late," I told her.
She looked at me, her brown eyes blazing with some emotion I couldn't really decipher and just nodded her head as we made our way to the elevator to go to the car and on our first, official date.
Dinner was as good as Demetri promised it would be. I sat as close to Bella as I could manage and I couldn't stop touching her for more than a few minutes before my fingers were twitching in need. Holding hands and rubbing my thumb across her knuckles, or a finger tracing gently on the inside of her wrist, an arm lightly brushing her forearm…it didn't matter as long as I was touching some part of her body with mine.
I craved it, needed it and the more I touched, the more I wanted.
There is no doubt that people were looking at her, I even recognized when some would realize who she was, but I didn't care. All I cared about was basking in the essence of Bella. We talked and laughed and flirted all through dinner, paying no attention whatsoever to what was going on around us; focused only on each other.
This, this was how our dinner the other night should have gone. But, tonight was so much better. Now I knew how she felt about me and she knew, partly, how I felt about her. I'm not sure she realizes how fully I am invested in our relationship, but she will before too much longer. It threatens to spill out of me every time I am around her, and it's getting harder and harder to contain it.
I love her, completely and fully and I can't fucking wait to tell her.
The piano bar was perfect, not too crowded and it was so dark that no one paid any attention to Bella. Well, of course everyone who looked at her noticed how beautiful she was, but it was too dark for anyone to recognize her. We snuggled close to one another in a booth, not even bothering with dancing, listening to the music and touched, and talked, and touched even more.
My angel was having a hard time keeping her hands to herself, too, it seemed like.
By the time we were ready to leave, both us were so worked up it felt like the sparks bouncing between us would ignite with the smallest provocation. I held her hand as we walked to the car, absently rubbing circles on her wrist until I opened her door for her.
As I tried to help her into the car, Bella launched herself at me, her tiny fingers immediately in my hair, gripping my head and pulling me towards her ferociously.
Mouth meeting mouth, tongues entwining in a desperate kiss, our bodies called to the other like never before. I pressed myself against the center of her, feeling her warmth through the front of my pants; my hands firmly gripped her ass, grinding her on top of my erection.
I kissed my way across her collar bones, covering every exposed part of her body with my tongue. I felt her hands pulling my hair and I fucking loved it. Her chest was heaving with want, my body on fire wanting nothing more than to take her against the car.
Bella pulled my head back up to hers and I felt her tongue rake over my Adams apple, up the side of my jaw and then to the side of my neck where I heard her whisper in that sexy ass husky voice of hers, "I want you Edward, please take me home…right fucking now."