Won't be able to talk tonight, sorry. I'll be at the park tomorrow morning around 10:00. See you then. B XOXOXO
What. The. Fuck?
Ok Edward, think for a damn second before you go off half cocked and read more into this than necessary.
She sounded fine on the phone last night. I know I didn't imagine the way she sounded when she said she was looking forward to talking on the phone again tonight. Her texts through the day today were sweet and more than a little flirty. She let me know ahead of time that she couldn't talk. If she didn't want to, all she would have had to do is not answer the phone when I called.
Ok, I feel better now. Maybe something came up and she can't talk. I don't know what she does for a living; she's been real good about avoiding that subject so far, so maybe she is at work. Or, maybe she has company and can't talk.
Truth of the matter is, I don't know what the fuck is going on, but my gut tells me not to jump to conclusions and wait until tomorrow when I see her. I hope the plans for meeting up at the park are still a go. I just have to hope and pray they are and let the chips fall where they may in this whole thing.
Like Tanya told me, and like I have to keep reminding myself, just let things progress naturally and trust that things will work out just fine.
I'm not tired now, so I decide to pull out my guitar and play for a bit. It's been awhile since I've done this so I just let my fingers begin to play the chords and lose myself in the music. I play some of my favorites, and the next thing I know, it's past midnight.
I put the guitar away, God, I need to not go that long without playing again, and brush my teeth and get ready for bed. Slipping my shorts off, I climb into bed and say a quick prayer about seeing Bella. I hope everything is ok, I don't know what I'll do if its not. What I do know is, it won't matter what kept her from talking to me tonight, I'm not giving her up.
Waking up in the morning, I check the time. It's almost 8:00 so if the kids and I are going to meet Bella at the park by 10:00, I better get my ass up and moving. Hopping in the shower, I think back over what happened last night and remind myself yet again to not get ahead of myself and wait and see what happens when we see her this morning.
I know I don't have long before the kids are hounding me about seeing Bella so my shower is short and sweet, no time for self lovin' today. I decide not to shave; not having to work this week has made my personal hygiene a little lax. Putting on some jeans and a t-shirt, I hear the kids out in the hall way excitedly making their way down stairs to breakfast. I hear Bella's name and it makes me smile.
I am putting my shoes on when I hear the sound from my phone alerting me to a new text. I reach for the phone, feeling myself release the breath I didn't know I was holding as I realize it is from Bella.
Are we still on for the park 10? B
Oh, oh. That sounds a little like she's unsure. What a stupid question! If I could, I would tell her to get her ass there right now, but that might seem a little over anxious. Instead I smile as I reply:
As long as you're going to be there angel, we'll be there, too. E
Her response comes right away:
I'll be there Edward, can't wait. I'll explain about last night. See you soon…B XOXO
My fingers are pressing keys faster than I can think:
Soon it is Beautiful…E
Score one for the Edmeister! I rock. What an idiot I am! Oh, what the girl does to me, I swear.
I hurry down the stairs, feeling so much better about this morning and greet the kids and my mom in the kitchen. I tell the kids to hurry up and let them know I've talked to Bella and she'll be meeting us at 10:00. I want them to get a surprise for her, so I don't feel like such a douche for carrying a stuffed animal the 15 blocks it takes to get to the park.
I go upstairs with the kids, helping them to get dressed. Both of them decide to wear the new clothes we got yesterday at the mall. Maddie is especially excited to wear her purple Converse to show Bella. Masen chooses new jeans and a polo shirt to go with his new black and gray Van's. The WonderTwins are ready to head out and I let my mom know we are leaving.
She gives me a kiss on the cheek and a good luck wish and we are off.
Maddie and Masen are talking a mile a minute as we walk towards the park. We stop at a flower vendor on the way and the kids pick out some flowers to give to her. I would love to give her some myself, but I may save that for our date on Saturday.
I let them choose the flowers by themselves, knowing Bella will appreciate the thought they put into them. Maddie chooses a bunch of daisies while Masen has picked out some purple lilacs. Looking at the flowers, I chuckle as I realize how absolutely perfect the flowers they chose are. The daisies remind me of Bella's playful nature and the lilacs remind me of her understated beauty.
Have I mentioned that I have the most amazing kids, ever?
I feel myself getting a little nervous as we enter the park. I realize with a start that we never specified a meeting spot but Maddie fixes that problem in a hurry when she reminds me that when we saw Bella the first time, we were at her favorite playground. We make our way towards it and I notice we are a few minutes early.
I start checking my watch every 30 seconds or so until the time has crept closer to 10:00. Maddie and Masen come to stand beside me, as excited to see Bella as I am.
I notice her first; she is wearing the same sunglasses and baseball cap as before. However, this time her hair is not up in a ponytail and she is wearing jeans and a t-shirt…a tight t-shirt I might add.
God help me, but Bella Swan is so fucking hot!
I watch as she notices the three of us standing here, waiting for her and I notice the strangest look pass over her face - like she has just realized the most amazing thing ever. Hmm…I wonder what that is about.
When she is just a few steps away she reaches up and takes her sunglasses off and looks into my eyes. My God, if she is not the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes on. Like I think I hear choirs of angels singing her praises or some cheesy ass thing like that. But it is the God's honest truth.
I feel it, feel that electric charge in the air as she steps even closer, her gorgeous brown eyes staring straight into mine. Without even thinking about it, I reach out for her, placing my free hand on the small of her back and press her forward to where she is standing right in front of me.
I forget the kids are standing there, hopping up and down waiting for Bella to talk to them. I forget we are in the middle of Central Park in New York City. And, most importantly, the fact that I have only known the angel standing in front of me, standing so close I can smell her hair, for just 4 short days completely slips my mind as I lean down and gently press my lips against her cheek.
"Bella," I say with a soft sigh. "It is so good to see you," I tell her as I kiss her cheek one more time and then kiss her forehead.
She looks up at me, and I swear to Christ she can see straight into my soul; and the smile she gives, Lord above, please let her smile at me like that everyday of forever, please?
"Hi Edward," she quietly says, "It is so good to see you, too" Her eyes shining as she looks up at me.
"Bella, Bella," Maddie and Masen are excitedly calling her name - at the same time. "Look what we got for you, we picked them out all by ourselves!" The twins are saying to her, trying to talk over each other.
She laughs, the most perfect sound of all sounds and turns to them. I still have my hand on her back, not wanting to separate myself from her, but I move my hand as she opens her arms to the both of them and they throw themselves at her, hugging her fiercely.
Ok, call me a pussy if you want to, but yeah, I totally choked up when I saw that. She is perfect, 100% without a shadow of a doubt, perfect.
My perfect angel and I swear to myself in that moment…I will make her mine.
"Maddie, Masen," Bella says with a smile on her face, "I missed you guys so much. Thank you for the flowers, they are totally beautiful, I love them," she finishes as she leans down to kiss them both on the cheek.
She stands up and looks at me, smiling the most breath taking smile, and tilts her head at me. Smirking, she asks, "Edward, care to tell me what that is in your hand? You'd better tell me that is my prize from the pizza place."
Laughing, I hand her the stuffed rhino, "Of course, fair Bella. You asked, I delivered. One so ugly it's cute rhinoceros for the lady," I tell her in my most ridiculous English accent.
She laughs at me, I swear on my life, the sound shoots straight into my heart. I want to make her laugh like this every day, if she'll let me.
Reaching out, she takes the stuffed animal from me, holding it under one arm. The other she places on my chest, her fingertips resting right above my heart, which I am positive she can hear, and she stands up on her toes. She leans in close to me, God the way she smells makes my head swim, and she softly says, "Thank you, Edward," and places a gentle kiss on my cheek, but closer to my lips this time.
I want to kiss her, really fucking kiss her so badly my fists are clenching, but I know I have to wait. I don't want our first kiss to be in middle of Central Park with my kids standing close by, watching.
I look around a bit, finally coming down from the Bella induced high I've been in for the last 5 minutes, and realize Rufus is no where around.
Bella steps back a bit, my body not liking that at all, and glances at Maddie and Masen. Taking a hold of each of their hands, she guides them to the park bench behind us.
Oh, oh. The look Bella has on her perfect face does not look too happy. I hope the little guy is ok.
She sits on the bench, one child on each side of her, and holds a hand in each of theirs. The moment is so heart-breakingly tender; I lose my breath for a moment. How can someone, who admittedly we barely know, treat each of us as if we were the most precious of things to her? Bella Swan is truly a person unlike anyone I have ever met before.
"Ok, guys, here's what's up. Rufus got sick last night, really sick, and I had to take him to the doctor late last night," she says as she looks towards me, making sure I understand what she is saying.
That is why she couldn't talk last night, ok, good to know. I nod my head slightly at her, letting her know I understand. My arm is across the back of the bench and I place my hand on her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. With a quick glance in my direction and a smile, she continues talking to Maddie and Masen, "He's better now, he had to have a shot and some medicine. He's at home with my friend, Seth, but hopefully he can come play with you two another time, all right?" she asks the two of them.
"Ok, Bella," Maddie quietly answers her.
Masen tugs on her hand a bit, getting her attention. He peers up at her and asks, "Bella smella, do you promise he's ok?"
Bella leans over and kisses the top of his head and then places her finger on the end of his nose, "Yes, Mase face, I promise you he's ok. He's just a little tired today and the doctor said he needed to stay inside and rest. We'll just have to make plans for you to play with him when he gets better, deal?" my angel says to my son.
"Um, Bella," Maddie hesitantly asks Bella, getting her attention.
"Yes, sweetheart," Bella responds back, with a smile on her face.
Maddie chews her bottom lip, a sure sign she's thinking hard about something, and asks, "Well, when we saw you the last time, you said you would think of a nickname for me. Ah, well, have you figured one out yet?" my adorable daughter asks my beautiful girl.
Bella glances at me, the space between her eyebrows wrinkling adorably as she looks back and forth between Maddie and me.
I decide to interject here, not wanting to put Bella on the spot at all, "Princess. Bella has been awful busy with Rufus the last few days, maybe we should wait to ask her that question," I tell Maddie.
Bella stands up, looking at the three of sitting on the bench. I am sure we are all looking at her with the goofiest grins on our faces. I know for a fact that the twins have fallen head over heels in love with the woman standing before us, and I can't decide if I am ahead of them, or right behind. What I do know is, the woman before me makes me want her, want things with an intensity that should scare the shit out of me but quite honestly; nothing has ever felt more right in my life.
"Edward," God, I love when she says my name! "Since Rufus isn't here to keep us all occupied, how about we walk towards the carousel and let the kids ride for a bit. I want to talk to Maddie a bit on the way, if that's ok with you Miss Maddie," she laughs at my daughter who is already vigorously nodding her head up and down.
"Mase face, turn that frown off right this second. If you let me walk with Maddie to the carousel, I promise to ride with you once we get there, ok little man?" she cajoles Masen.
"Sure, Bella smella, as long as you promise," Masen quickly agrees with her.
Damn, could she have them eating out of the palm of her hand any more?
So totally incredible she is. I sigh. Again.
"Ok, Mase, let's bounce," I say as I playfully bump against him. "Let's let the girls have their private girly time. We don't want to walk with them anyways," I roll my eyes towards Bella and Maddie who look at me like I am the biggest goof ball…ever.
"Whatever, Daddy," my son knowingly says.
Yep, he's as hooked on Bella as I am.
We walk leisurely through the park, making our way towards the Merry-Go-Round. I look back and Bella and Maddie are holding hands, looking like they are very deep in conversation.
My heartstrings are tugged even a little tighter watching them together.
Lauren has missed out on so fucking much, I don't know how she lives with herself knowing what she is missing. But, I guess that is the point right there, she doesn't know what she is missing by abandoning her children the way she has.
Last I heard, Lauren and Tyler were living in Boston, married - but not happily from the rumors through the grapevine. I try not to pay any attention to them. I had a talk with the twins when they first started school about Lauren. I told them as much as I felt they needed to hear, and promised that if they ever had any questions, they could come to me any time and ask. I promised to always be honest with them and would never be upset, no matter what question they might have. So far, they really haven't had much to ask about. Makes me feel like I'm doing something right with this whole parenting thing.
As we approach the carousel, I glance back and hear Bella and Maddie laughing and Bella is bending down right next to Maddie. I can't hear what they are saying, but Maddie is smiling a blinding smile at Bella and nodding her head, her pony tail swinging all over the place. She leans forward and kisses Bella on the cheek and races past me to catch up with Masen in line to ride the ride.
She yells a "Love you Daddy!" as she runs past me.
I shake my head at my little girl; Bella is so wonderful with her, for her. Where has my shy, reserved little princess gone to I wonder as I turn to look at Bella.
My perfect, beautiful angel...Mine!… I repeat to myself again.
Go get her, tiger, I tell myself - giving myself a much needed pep talk as I wait for her to walk towards me.
So fucking beautiful.
When she is close enough, I reach my hand out, grasping hers in my own and pull her towards me. I push her hair behind her ear and lean in close to her, whispering in her ear, "Thank you so much for today, angel. You have made us all so happy, just by being here," I trail off as I kiss her behind her ear.
I hear the sharp intake of her breath as I feel the electricity crackle all around us. Ah, I've missed that feeling, knowing it only comes when I am around my Bella.
Mine, I repeat again.
I want her, desperately.
I want all of her. I want her to love me, to love the kids. I want our Special Sunday's to be 4 not 3 of us. I want to wake up next to her every morning, her silky hair draped across my chest as our legs are intertwined beneath the covers. I want to play my guitar for her, singing her cheesy ass love songs by the fire.
I want to make love to her, feeling her take me inside of her as I take her. I want to kiss her, tasting her tongue as we kiss, just kiss for hours. I want to hold her hand, never letting it go. I want to be the first person she wants to talk to when something good happens and I want it to be my arms she runs to when she needs to feel safe and secure.
I. Want. Her.
All of her.
And not just for a moment, I want forever with Bella. I know this to the depths of my soul.
Bella quietly sighs, as she presses her body closer to mine. She feels it, too, I know she does. There is no way she can't, it's all around us. The electricity is just pulsing between the two of us as we stand here, completely oblivious to our surroundings.
Damn good thing the kids are on the ride right now; I'm not sure I could form a rational thought if I needed to.
"Edward," says as she exhales. "I truly can't think of anywhere I'd rather be," she answers my question from what seems like ages ago.
She steps back, giving herself a gentle shake of her head and focuses on me with those amazing coffee colored eyes.
"Thank you," she begins, "for understanding about last night, Edward. I hope you know I did want to talk to you, it was just so late by the time I got home, and waiting at the doctor's office was…" she trails off as I place a finger over her warm lips to shush her.
"Bella, angel, I missed talking to you last night, missed hearing your beautiful voice, but I totally understand. It's ok, don't worry, all right?" I ask her, using my sexy voice as Tanya teasingly calls it.
She nods at me, my finger still pressed against her warm lips. I move it, grudgingly, and tweak her nose before turning to check on the kids.
Bella and I stand against the railing watching the kids in silence for a few minutes. The urge to take a hold of her hand is so overwhelming; I reach out and grab it, entwining our fingers. I look over at her and quirk my eyebrow in a silent question and she responds with a grin and a nod of her head.
This right here is complete fucking bliss. Holding hands with Bella, watching Maddie and Masen as they laugh on the Merry-Go-Round, I can't think of anything that would feel better than this.
Ok. I'm not a total fucking idiot, I am sure if I tried I can think of a thing or hundred with Bella that would feel better than just holding her hand, but you know what I mean. Come on, give a guy a break.
I hear Bella laugh softly beside me, and when I look at her, she just rolls her eyes at me and faces the kids in front of us.
"Come on old man, it's time to get on with the twins," she pulls me forward, and of course I go…willingly. "You can daydream later!" she chuckles at me.
Yep, so totally busted Edward. And, I foolishly think I'm all that and a bag of chips.
We goof off on the carousel for another 20 minutes or so, Bella moving between Maddie and Masen.
She must have been around kids a lot when she was younger or babysat or something, because she is flawless with them. Never favoring one over the other, paying special attention to each and giving them each her undivided attention in equal measure.
Flawless, utter fucking perfection.
Finally, after much giggling and laughing, mostly at my stupid ass riding on a horse that is moving up and down, we get off.
The kids are getting hungry and I ask Bella, "Angel, did you want to eat lunch with us? I know you probably need to get back to Rufus, but we would love to have you join us."
Maddie and Masen are wholeheartedly agreeing with me, already grabbing each of her hands and walking towards the exit of the park.
Bella digs her feet in and pulls them both to a stop along with her and answers us all, "I guess that could be arranged. After all who am I to pass up free food with my three favorite people?" she says as she winks at me.
So fucking adorable, I mean come on!
"Oh, you think I'm buying do you? I figured since you called me old and hurt my feelings, buying me lunch is the least you can do, little girl!" I mockingly tell her.
She whips her head in my direction, with a terrified look on her face, "E..Edw…Edward," she stutters endearingly at me, "I didn't mean…" she trails off as I grab her and pull her towards me.
"Beautiful, I'm just kidding with you. Like I would ever let you buy your own lunch if I'm around," I pull her even closer and press my mouth over her ear, "Besides, I happen to love the way you tease me. Please don't stop," I whisper to her as I leave an open mouthed kiss over the shell of her ear.
I feel her shiver beneath my arms, yeah, sweet girl likes when I tease her, too.
I'm so the man!
Maddie and Masen are jumping around like mad, so happy to spend more time with the wonderful Bella Swan. Yeah, I'm pretty pumped myself.
We decide to stop at McDonald's for lunch. Not my favorite place, but the kids can play and that leaves more time for me to talk to Bella. So, it's a win win as far as I can tell; Bella for me, greasy, fast food for the kids.
We are standing at the counter, everyone contemplating what to order when Maddie says, "Bella?"
Bella looks her direction and says, "What's up peanut butter cup?"
Aahh, the new nickname.
Maddie obviously approves judging by the huge ass grin on her face as she asks, "Bella, what are you gonna have, I want what you are gonna get!" she tells her new idol.
Bella endearingly taps her chin, like this is a hard decision or something, and answers decisively, "Chicken Nuggets. I haven't had chicken nuggets in forever, and fries…and," she looks sweetly at me, "a milkshake?"
Like I wouldn't buy her a thousand milk shakes if she asked me. Pu…lease!
Maddie and Masen both look at me loudly saying, "Daddy, we want the same thing as Bella!"
"Fine, fine," I answer, trying to hide the smirk on my face, "I guess I can't be odd man out and order a burger at a burger place, now can I?" I mock to Bella.
She just rolls her eyes at me and leans in close and says, "It's ok old guy, you should probably watch your consumption of red meat. I hear it does a number on ya once you hit old age!" she teases me.
"What ever you say baby, I'll show you old, you just wait," I threaten, not joking in the least. I will show her…and soon.
She looks me straight in the eye and says, "I sure as hell hope so Edward." And then immediately turns to the kids and motions to me she is taking them to the play area.
We all eat, enjoying the time together. The kids play when they are finished; Bella and I talk. I am loving this finding out about each other phase. You find out the weirdest things.
"Bella, damn. How in the hell could you possibly think that peanut butter cups are a better candy than a Kit Kat? I mean, come the fuck on. Peanut butter, you get thirsty just eating the damn things. Kit Kats rule!" I stubbornly argue with her.
She has told me about Maddie's nickname. She couldn't find a word that rhymed that made any sense to her, so she talked with Maddie earlier at the park, learning that peanut butter cups were also my little girl's favorite candy. Maddie was thrilled beyond belief to know that she and Bella share another thing together.
I'll be making plenty of runs to the shoe store for Converse shoes in every damn color now, as well as making sure there is an unlimited supply of peanut butter cups in the house, that's for damn sure.
"Oh, Edward really. I mean I love a good Kit Kat every now and then just as much as the next person, but a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, mmm…heaven on earth I'm telling you!" She argues back to me.
Now I want a peanut butter cup, shit!
I nudge her shoulder, "Whatever you say beautiful. Thanks for taking the time to talk to Maddie though, really. She's talked about this nickname of yours for four days now. There was a pool at home trying to figure out what you would come up with. Just so you know, no one was even close. It will mean a lot to her, especially since you took the time to talk to her and get to know her to pick one. You could have just as easily picked sweetheart or something like that, that didn't take the thought that yours does," I tell her honestly.
"Your kids are great Edward, I can't remember the last time I was around little kids," she tells me. "Jasper, Rose and Seth were all only children so I was never around anyone younger than me when I was growing up. None of them have children of their own yet, so yours are the first ones I've spent any amount of time with. Thank you for sharing them with me. I've had so much fun!" she sweetly tells me.
I am floored. She's never been around kids before? Now I know she is my perfect angel. No doubt about it.
"Bella, you are perfect with them, honestly. I have never seen anyone act the way you do around them. I also," and I turn so I facing directly at her because I want this point driven home, "have never seen either one of them interact with anyone the way they do with you. Bella, you are truly are special," I tell her.
"I also want you to know how truly excited I am about our date on Saturday," I say as I scoot closer to her. I put my arm around her shoulder, press her body up against mine and ask her, "Do you want to know what I am most excited about my beautiful Bella? I can not fucking wait until I can kiss you, really kiss you beautiful Bella," I whisper as I move my lips closer and press my nose into her hair. "I am going to kiss you, make no mistake about that. Do you want that angel?" I finish.
She is whimpering softly as I keep my nose in her hair and trail my fingers up and down her arm. I can feel her heart beating and hear her breath coming faster as I continue to nuzzle into her hair and pull her even closer to me.
I can't help it. The woman is driving me so fucking insane I can't see straight.
I can tell she is in no better condition than I am. I can feel her nipple through her thin t-shirt pressed against my chest. God help me, but I want more than anything to throw her down on this table in the middle of this fucking McDonald's and have my way with her.
I want her, I want to crawl inside of her and never leave. I want to take her home with me and lock ourselves away in my room for days and days, never leaving the bed. I want to know every inch of her glorious body, the spots that are ticklish and especially the ones that make her wet and ache with need.
Bella looks at me, her pupils dilated and hooded with lust. Mother fucker, if she isn't the hottest thing fucking ever.
She reaches around, her body still pressed against mine, and wraps her hand around the back of my head, turning it so she can whisper in the ear farthest away from her. Her hands feel phenomenal in my hair, and are surprisingly strong. She presses my ear down towards her lips where I can feel her warm breath in my ear and on my neck and softly says, "Edward, on Saturday , when we are alone, and there aren't any kids around, I promise you that you can kiss me whenever and however you want…and if you are a good boy, I may let you kiss me as often as you like as well, " she purrs at me as she trails her tongue up the side of my jaw and over my earlobe.
My fingers grip her hips where my hands have been resting. Holy hell if I didn't feel that all the way down to my dick, which is definitely enjoying being so close to Bella. I hold her in this position for a few moments, breathing quite heavily in her ear, as I try to get my body as well as my emotions under control again.
Woman is going to be the death of me, I fucking swear she will.
Her fingers linger in my hair for a few more excruciating but enjoyable moments before she kisses me chastely on the cheek as she disengages her body from mine and stands up. Her hand lingers on my shoulder, like she doesn't want to lose contact with me, and she smiles at me.
She walks away, calling to Maddie and Masen and she kneels down to speak to them as she looks from one to the other. I can't hear what she is saying, but the kids look a little sad, but resigned at the same time. My heart clenches, she must be getting ready to go home.
I look at my watch and start, shit; I can't believe it is already after 2:00. Time obviously has no meaning when Bella is anywhere in my vicinity.
She kisses each of them on the cheek, receiving what looks like bone crushing hugs from each other them. Again, it is a sight to behold to watch the three of them together.
Bella stands again, rubbing each one in turn on the top of the head and says good bye as she makes her way towards me.
I want to beg her to spend the rest of the day with us, and then come home with us, and then never leave us. But, I stop myself…just barely.
She gives me the sexiest smile I have ever seen and stops right in front of me. Bella is holding her stuffed rhino, shit now I'm jealous of a stuffed animal, seeing as how it is tucked under her arm and resting right next to her breast. First my kid then a stuffed animal…I seriously need help!
I pull her to me again, this is becoming quite the habit, and one that I more that happy to indulge in. Bella comes willingly, mmmm…I like the way that sounds. I tuck her hair behind her ear again. I love her hair; it is the most dazzling shade of brown with fiery highlights of red streaking through it. I could sing songs about just her hair. I guarantee I could.
"Bella," I speak softly to her, "angel is it ok if I call you later? I know you'll be busy with the puppy, but I can't go to sleep again tonight without hearing your beautiful voice, please?"
"Of course you can Edward, I didn't enjoy not talking to you last night, either," Bella tells me.
"I am counting down the minutes until Saturday night, I can't wait to see you again," she tells me.
I inhale through my nose, "My Bella, you have no idea how much I am looking forward to Saturday, too."
"Thanks for another fantastic day old man, I've had a great time," my angel says to me as she kisses my cheek and then sweeps her lips across mine.
Electric shock, all through my body, just from the briefest of kisses. My fucking God, if we ever make it to a bed, I think we might spontaneously combust.
I try to hold her close to me, not wanting to let her go, as she reaches down and grabs my hand in hers. She gives it a gently squeeze, implying that she is feeling much the same and grins at me.
"See you Saturday Edward; make sure you call me tonight, ok? I'll be looking forward to it," and with that, she raises her hands to her lips and then flattens out her palm, blowing me a kiss.
With another wave and good bye to the kids, she heads home and I get Maddie and Masen and we do the same thing.
We make it home, shortly before 3:00 and the kids are bouncing off the walls with excitement from seeing Bella. They tell Nana all about their day, even mentioning a kiss or two between Bella and I. The gleam in my mother's eye does not go unnoticed.
I tell them I am going upstairs for a bit and mom tells me she is going to take the kids to the bookstore and then they are going to meet Ali for dinner. My dad is with Uncle Marcus and Emmett is on a job so he's unavailable. Looks like I'm on my own for the evening…nice.
I really don't mind, some alone time will give me the quiet I need to let my mind wander to thoughts of Bella.
I am freaking myself out, honestly, thinking about how consumed I am by my thoughts of her. They are literally non-stop. I don't understand it at all, but as I lay down, I let go and let the images, feelings, and memories of her fill my mind.
I unzip my jeans, which have grown so uncomfortable, and let out a breath of contentment. I place my hand on my stomach, feeling the muscles twitch as I remember the way she looked walking towards me in her tight t-shirt. I can only begin to imagine the way she looks underneath, not even a bra covering her wondrous breasts. I push my shirt up, with one hand while the other slips inside my boxer briefs.
I am so incredibly hard already, shit, just the thought of seeing her naked breasts has me harder than I ever felt with Lauren. I wrap my hand around my length, remembering the way it felt when her nipple was pressed against my chest. I can't wait to feel it between my fingers, pulling and rolling it gently. Maybe she likes is harder? I sure as shit hope so.
I being to pump my hand up and down, remembering the way her tongue felt on my ear and jaw. I wonder if I ask nicely, if she will lick me all over. Her tongue was so warm and wet and her breath so sweet, so totally Bella. Her hair, smelling like the most delicious strawberries, I wonder if she would mind if I asked her if I could just lay next to her and smell her hair for an entire day. Bella smells so intoxicating, her smell filling my entire mind.
Moving my hand faster now, I let myself imagine the way it felt when her lips touched mine. Even though it was for the briefest of moments, it was the most incredible feeling. I want her to kiss me again and again. My thumb rubs the head of my cock, collecting the precum from the tip. My fingers grip me tighter now as I imagine what it would feel like to have her lips wrapped around me, looking up at me with those endlessly deep brown eyes. I feel the muscles tighten in my stomach and legs as I let myself go, coming all over my stomach.
I lay there when the orgasm has passed, taking a few calming breaths. I grab the tissue off the nightstand and clean myself off. I stand up; throwing the tissue away, then slide my jeans off and toss them in the hamper. I grab a pair of shorts and slip them on.
I am feeling kind of tense…surprising after what I just did. I guess it's not tense I'm feeling, more like anxious. I decide to go for a run while everyone is out so I put my running shoes on, grab my phone and iPod and head downstairs and out the front door. I run for about an hour, just letting my mind wander and losing myself in the songs playing in ears.
Throwing open the front door, I make my way to the fridge and grab a bottle of water and head upstairs to take a shower. Stripping out of my sweaty clothes, I put them in the hamper and get into the shower. I think about Bella…again, but restrain myself this time from doing anything more than just thinking about her. Twice in one day would be pushing it, but I'm not sure I mind.
I dress in track pants and a tank top and go down to the kitchen and make myself a sandwich for dinner. There is a basketball game on so I grab a beer and settle on the sofa to watch, thoroughly enjoying the peace and quiet of being the only one home. I briefly wonder what it would feel like if I was waiting on Bella to get home with the kids, after spending the day out with them. Just a thought…
Maddie and Masen get home about the time the game is ending, arms full of new books. I tell them each to pick one out and go on upstairs and get ready for bed, reminding them that tomorrow is Maddie's day at the museum. With a kiss for each of them, I let them know I'll be up in 30 minutes for reading time then it's lights out.
I figure I'll be talking to Bella within the hour and my heart recognizes that thought immediately as it gives a little flutter. Can't say I mind the feeling in the least.
Kissing my mom and thanking her for taking the kids for the evening, I head up to tuck the munchkins into bed. I try to read with them every night. It's our way of spending quiet time before going to sleep. The twins each know that it is also the time to let me know if anything is bothering them. Thankfully, with the exception of a few questions about Bella that were easily put off for another time, the night passes quickly and before I know it, both Maddie and Masen are tucked safely into bed.
Entering my room, I walk to the nightstand and check my phone, looking at the time. 9:30, a good time to call I decide. I turn on my iHome, selecting one of my mellow play lists and dial Bella's number.
She answers on the second ring, sounding as happy to be talking to me as I am to her and we quickly enter into a conversation. We play a quick game of 20 questions again, asking random things you might not ever find out about a person if you didn't ask. I find out her favorite color is green, she admits that rather grudgingly. Egotistically, I think I know why she picked that color, but I can't be sure. I know her favorite Disney movie is the Little Mermaid, but her favorite Disney princess is Mulan. Her favorite fast food restaurant is Chick Fil A and when she took one of those quizzes where you had to name the meal you would wish to eat every day, hers is a #1 from Chick Fil A, with a Coke. Her favorite dessert is strawberry shortcake. Her favorite holiday is Christmas and her birthday is in September. That's all she would tell me, she's not a fan of her birthday for some reason. Her parent's names are Charlie and Renee, but she changes the subject from them before I can ask any more questions.
We talk for hours, not about anything important, but getting to know one another. It's fantastic. I finally let her go after midnight and promise to call her tomorrow night and send her a text or two during the day. She wishes me sweet dreams, kind of cheekily to be honest, like she knows my dreams might not be of the most innocent type. Of course, she sounds like hers might not be so clean either…I rather like that. A lot.
It's been a long day and I am asleep in no time. Waking in the morning, it feels like I just fell asleep. I groan as I roll out of bed. I really despise mornings, I wonder if Bella is a morning person? Waking up next to her might make getting up in the morning a much more enjoyable experience I think to myself as I get ready for another day out on the town with the Wonder Twins…who never get tired!
The museum is crowded, but we make our way through the exhibits. Masen is not a fan of visiting the museum, so he is a little cranky by the time we finish up, but I remind him that his day at Six Flags is tomorrow, so his turn is next. That puts a smile on his face and stopped the whines almost immediately.
Bella and I have been exchanging text messages all day, and they seem to turning towards more flirty…and a few even have some sexual innuendo in them. I am extremely happy to see that she seems to be looking forward to our date Saturday as much as I am.
Dinner is a lively affair, the kids filling both Ma and Pop in on our day yesterday with Bella and the trip to the museum today. Everyone is excited for Ali and Emmett to stay on Saturday, the twins most especially. Not to mention the little comments thrown in here and there about my upcoming date with Bella Saturday night. I know everyone is excited for me, hell; I can barely contain my own excitement.
However, I know that I need to proceed slowly, letting things happen in their own time. The very last thing I want is for Bella to feel pressured in any way. As we continue to get closer, I hope and pray that a second date won't be far behind the first; I have a feeling keeping things under control when it comes to Bella isn't going to be easy.
I send Bella a few more text messages, nothing more than letting her know I am thinking about her…which I am - constantly.
Demetri comes over after dinner and we play Rock Band with the kids for a while, even my dad joins in. When Dem and Em get together, especially with the kids, it's like having a party all the time. Those two are as big of kids as my own.
After the kids go to bed, he stays to watch a basketball game with me. I enjoy hanging out with him. Emmett is so busy with his job as a security consultant that it's hard to find time to spend with one another. Ben is working for him, too, so they are both pretty scarce. Ben decided that being a doctor wasn't really what he was cut out for. Luckily for him his parents are understanding people. Spending a small fortune on med school and then not using your degree doesn't go over well with most people, but his parents are much like my own in that all they want is for him to be happy. He and Emmett work really well together and their security company is one of the most respected in the North East.
I go upstairs after the game, a little buzzed from all the beer Dem and I have finished off during the basketball game. March Madness…gotta love it.
I make it through my nightly conversation with Bella, admittedly I may not remember all we talked about and I sure hope I didn't make a complete ass out of myself. We don't talk for a very long time tonight, I am going to have a long day at Six Flags tomorrow and with Rufus just getting over being sick, she is a little worn out herself.
So with the same sweet dream wishes we have given each other and the same assurance we will speak tomorrow, I tell her good bye and fall asleep seemingly before my head hits the pillow.
Waking the next morning, later than I have all week, I have a slight headache. I groan for a moment as I remember drinking too much fucking beer with Demetri last night. I also go over my talk with Bella last night, some of it a little foggy. I do distinctly recall her asking me if she could cook me dinner at her place tomorrow night, instead of going out. I know I told her hell yes, and as I think about it in the bright light of the morning, I am excited about that. We haven't been by ourselves yet; Maddie and Masen have been with us both times. Besides, I can't wait to see where she lives!
Demetri has spent the night again. I swear the man should have his own damn room here, although he does sleep in Emmett's room when he stays. Everyone eats a quick breakfast before we head out to the amusement park. The kids have both been looking forward to this all week and I can't wait to get there with them. I only wish Bella was coming with us…oh well, maybe next time.
I text Bella real quick telling her good morning and letting her know we are on our way to the park. She tells me to wish each of the kids a good day, and after letting me know that old men shouldn't go to an amusement park with a hangover, she tells me to have fun.
Dem and I ride all the rides with the kids, even the roller coasters. We have a fucking blast, the only thing that would have made it better was to share it with Bella, but the kids are both exhausted but completely blissed out by the day. We eat junk food, eat ice cream and play games until dark and then head home.
After a quick dinner of sandwiches and soup, I get the kids cleaned up and tucked into bed with no arguments whatsoever. The sleepover with Em and Ali tomorrow night is the icing on the cake of their Spring Break. They seem like they have had the best week, and it makes me so happy to know that I was here for all of it.
I am totally fucking exhausted myself and after a long, hot shower, I stumble into my room. A quick phone call to Bella is all I'm going to be able to manage tonight, especially since I want to be well rested for tomorrow. My angel understands completely, letting me know how great she thinks I am for putting the kids first all week and spending so much time with them. That warms my heart, not going to lie. I could never be in a relationship with someone that doesn't understand that the kids needs have to come first. There is no other way.
I fall into a dreamless night's sleep, but wake feeling pretty rested…for an old guy.
That makes me think of Bella so I send a quick text message letting her know I'm up and already counting down the minutes until tonight. I am supposed to be at her place by 6:30…I may have begged her just a little to make it an early dinner. I don't think I could hold off much longer than that.
The twins are awake downstairs talking excitedly to one another about Aunt Ali and Uncle Emmett coming to spend the night with them. Maddie has already gotten her dress up clothes out of her room and Masen has set up the XBOX to play with Emmett. I love my brother and sister; they are seriously two of the best people you will ever meet.
Ali gets to the house shortly before lunch, throwing a bag at me as she walks in. She smiles and lets me know it is for my date tonight.
"I know I'm not allowed to meddle, Edward, but this shirt will be so hot on you, I promise!" she tells me. "You'll be thanking me tomorrow," she finishes.
"Whatever Ali, but thanks for the shirt. I'll be sure to let you know what Bella thinks tomorrow," I tell her as I kiss her on the cheek.
The girl might drive me insane, but I love her madly.
Emmett walks in about this time and throws in his two cents, "Don't fuck it up little bro, this is the first date you've been on in forever. Do you need some pointers?" he teases me.
Jackass… he thinks he's got game because he's an ex-football star. Grudgingly, I admit to myself that he probably does.
I spend some time visiting with the two of them while the kids are running around like little crazies. I haven't seen Ali in two weeks. She's started this huge case at the office and it is taking up so much of her time. Emmett fills me in on his job and lets me know how Ben is. Apparently he's been dating this girl named Angela that he met at a mutual acquaintance's party a few weeks ago. Em hasn't met her yet, but says Ben seems head over heels for the girl.
I am happy for my friend. Ecstatic really. I have never been able to figure out why he doesn't have girls falling all over themselves to be with him. He's a nice guy, good looking if I'm allowed to say so, makes a great living and has a tremendous family. I hope this Angela girl is good to him.
Mom fixes a huge lunch, thrilled that her whole family is in the house for a change. She is completely in her element. I know she wishes we would all settle down. I promise her that we'll all get there, once we each find what she and Pop have. I won't settle for anything less and I know my siblings feel the same way.
Once lunch is through, I go for a run with Emmett while Ali and Ma take the kids to the park to play for a bit.
I send Bella a text message:
3 more hours angel, until I see your beautiful face. Counting down the minutes…can't come soon enough! E XOXO
Her reply is immediate:
I know Edward, I feel the same way. In case you were wondering, the minute count is exactly 173…and 27 seconds. Can't wait….B XOXO
The woman drives me mad…completely and utterly fucking crazy.
Emmett and I run for about an hour, and I get home a little after 4:00. I spend a few minutes talking to Maddie and Masen, listening about their time at the park. It's amazing how much 7 year olds have to say about a park they go to weekly, but I listen to every word they have to say.
I make it up to my room by 5:00, perfect timing by my calculation to start getting ready to go. My stomach is in knots, so anxious to see Bella. For almost a whole week I have been looking forward to this day, it has been almost a constant presence in my mind. I want to be able to enjoy Bella, as a 32 year old man, not as a single father. Not that I'm not that person, because obviously I am, but I am also a man. One who is extremely attracted to a beautiful woman.
I get in the shower, scrubbing my body and letting my mind wander to what I want from tonight. Besides kissing Bella, which I have no intention of not doing, repeatedly if I have my way, I just want to be with her. Spend time getting to know her, touching her, just being near her. I want to feel the electric pulse that crackles when we are together; I want to feel my heart start beating faster just from being close to her. I just want to be with her.
Stepping from the shower, I wrap a towel around my waist and step towards the mirror. I decide to shave, I don't know whether Bella likes the scruffy look or not, but since this is a first date, I tell myself clean shaven is probably for the best. Finishing that up, I walk into my room, pulling on a pair of black boxer briefs. Ali has laid out my black dress jeans and the mint green dress shirt she bought for me. Black shoes and socks, and I am set to go.
I put on my watch; grab my wallet and cell phone and make my way downstairs. The kids and Ali and Emmett have already set up the tents in the living room, blankets draped over every surface and I smell popcorn because they are ready to watch a movie. I kiss the twins on the heads, kiss by brother and sister, too. My parents are with Uncle Marcus and Aunt Diane for the night. I tell everyone not to wait up, smirking to myself as I quietly hope it's really late by the time I make it home and I am out the door.
Bella sent me directions earlier in the day and I pull my phone out as I get into a cab. I have the driver stop on the way so I can buy some flowers and a bottle of wine. I pick out a bunch of freesias mixed with lilacs. The lady at the flower shop told me that freesias mean "spirited" which my Bella definitely is. The lilacs, I took a chance on those since she told me they mean "first love". I take a deep breath, and buy them anyways. Besides, I tell myself, I can always make up some other meaning for them if I have to.
I arrive at Bella's place about 6:20, not too early I hope. The building is nothing like I expect. It is a huge, old building; you wouldn't be able to tell that someone lived here unless you already knew it. There aren't a lot of other people around, and there is a small clearing across the street. I bet that is where she takes Rufus when he needs to use the bathroom.
Walking towards a large red door, it opens, seemingly by itself. I stand there somewhat shocked until I hear a voice that shakes me from my stupor.
A man, a huge man I might add, steps forward, with his hand out, "Hey man, I'm Seth. Bell told me to expect you. She's upstairs, come on in and I'll show you the way," he tells me as I blindly follow him.
Seth, her best friend's name is Seth. What the hell is he doing here, I wonder to myself. I must have had a grimace on my face or something because as Seth is leading me towards a service elevator he turns to me and says,
"Edward, don't worry about it dude. I'm not crashing your date with Shortcake. My apartment is on the floor below hers and she asked that I watch for your arrival and take you upstairs to her place. I'll be out of your hair in no time," Seth grins at me.
I shake my head again, getting my bearings, and softly laugh at him, "Thanks, man, I appreciate it. By the way, it's nice to meet you, too. Bella has told me a lot about you," I tell him.
He's a big guy, and I immediately like him. He's easygoing like Emmett and Demetri; they would all get along I'm sure.
He laughs harder at that, "Yeah, well she's talked non-stop about you and your little munchkins all week long. I feel like I know you three already," he says as he slaps me on the back.
The elevator has stopped and the doors open into a small hallway. I see a door at the end, assuming that is Bella's loft. Besides, the music coming from that direction is pretty much a dead give away. I hear the Foo Fighters drifting underneath the door as we approach and hear Seth chuckle to himself.
I raise my eyebrow at him in question as he says, "Shortcake loves her Dave Grohl, that's for sure!" he laughs as he knocks then enters without waiting for her to answer.
I step in behind him, taking a look around me. The space is phenomenal. A huge kitchen is off to the side, the smells coming from that direction making my mouth water. There are floor to ceiling windows along the far wall facing the street. A brown leather sofa sits in front of a beautiful fireplace. A 50 inch flat screen television on the wall beside it. Pictures on the walls, prints of photos it looks like. The wooden floors covered by soft, plush area rugs. Bella's home is fantastic and my first impression is it is so her.
She looks up at me as I step out from behind Seth, a huge smile on her beautiful face.
I hear Seth snicker beside me; he slaps me on the back as I hear him say, "See ya later, Bell. I'll keep Rufus down with me, ok?" He then turns towards me, with his hand outstretched again, "Edward, man, it was great to meet you. Hope to see you again," and then he pulls me closer and whispers in my ear, "You hurt her, you die," and then he pulls back and looks me straight in the eye.
Seth is definitely not kidding. I have no intention of ever hurting Bella if I can help it, but the warning from Seth won't go unheeded.
"Never man, I wouldn't dream of it," I say, looking him straight in the eye as well.
He must see something that lets him know I mean what I say and with a hearty good bye he is out the door and it is just Bella and I.
Staring at each other.
I take her in, my eyes traveling hungrily from head to toe. She is in jeans again, faded ones that look like they are painted on her gorgeous body. Her hair is down, just like I hoped it would be, and straight. And so shiny it is reflecting the candlelight from the living room. I can't wait to run my fingers through it. She is wearing a deep, blue v-necked shirt; it looks like silk. No shoes on her cute little feet, and her toenails are painted a perfect shade of pink.
She is so unbelievably fucking beautiful she takes my breath away.
I stand there, staring at my angel like a damn fool, not being able to form even a word.
She smiles at me and steps closer to me, "Edward," I hear her sigh my name.
Before I know what I am doing, I have dropped her flowers and the bottle of wine I was carrying on the kitchen counter. I crush her body to mine, fisting my hand in her hair and lean down and kiss her. Fucking kiss the shit out of her.
Six days of wanting flow forth in that kiss as I completely possess her mouth with my own. My other hand on the small of her back, pressing her closer to me, feeling her entire body against mine. My body is on fire, I swear to Christ it is. I am completely consumed by this kiss. I try to show Bella how much I have wanted her all week, just with my lips and tongue.
Finally, we both have to come up for air. I trail my lips towards her ear as I say, "Bella. I have been waiting to do that for 6 days my angel. Please tell me that was ok?" I beg her.
She chuckles softly, leaning against me closer, "Edward that was more than ok. I have been dreaming about that first kiss since Sunday night," she says as she gently shakes her head.
I can smell her hair when she does that, she always smells so damn fantastic.
I stand up and smirk at her, "Well, I certainly hope I lived up to the hype then Bella. I would hate to disappoint you Beautiful," I tease her.
"Ah, for an old guy, I guess it was ok," she sasses me right back.
I fucking love when she teases me. Hottest damn thing, I swear.
I lean forward and kiss her quickly on the lips and then on her forehead as I walk toward the counter to retrieve her flowers and pick up the bottle of wine that thankfully didn't break. That would have been a bitch to clean up.
"Something smells delicious," I tell her as I turn towards her.
She ducks her head a bit, "Thanks, I hope you like Chicken Parmesan?" she asks as she raises her eyebrow at me in question.
"Mmmm, one of my favorites angel," I tell her as I hand her the flowers.
She giggles a bit, "I know, you mentioned it Thursday night on the phone…you probably don't remember seeing as how you were, um, kinda out of it. Thank you for the flowers Edward, they are really beautiful," she finishes placing her hand on mine and gently squeezing it.
I groan and run my fingers through my hair, "Please don't remind me. Dem is such a fucking idiot. But, I guess that makes me one, too, now doesn't it since I drank all that damn beer with him. I hope I didn't make a complete ass out of myself, Bella," I contritely tell her.
"It was fine Edward, you were so funny. You better hope I didn't record anything, you never know what I might have that I could use for blackmail!" she chuckles at me.
Shit. Fuck. Damn it.
Please don't let me have made an idiot out of myself. I obviously didn't say anything to make her mad or else I wouldn't be here, I tell myself.
She asks me to open the wine while dinner is finishing up. Handing me a bottle opener, I take it and uncork the wine as she reaches up into the cabinet to grab two wine glasses. She stretches, her shirt lifting up over her stomach.
Skin. I see skin. I want to touch that skin. So badly, and I want to run my tongue over it, tasting her.
God, I am a fucking pervert, but she is so damn sexy I can't control myself.
She looks at me, noticing the way I am looking at her. Bella is not stupid, and I can tell by the look in her eye she knows exactly what I was thinking…but she doesn't seem to mind in the least.
Handing me the glass, I touch her hand with my fingers, my fingertips ghosting over hers. I feel that electricity all around us, welcoming the feeling.
Bella gives me a soft smile and I hear her sigh. Yeah, I know she's feeling it, too.
I hear her clear her throat as she looks at me, "Edward, um, ah…well, um," she adorably stutters out.
"Angel, just spit it out already, come on," I tease as I pour us each a glass of wine.
Clearing her throat again, I hear her take a deep breath, "Edward, I need to tell you something and I'm not sure how to tell you, and I don't want you to be mad but I just need to get this out of the way," she nervously stammers to me.
Shit. Motherfucker. My heart is beating a mile a minute after I heard the words 'I need to tell you something'! I mean really, what good has ever come when someone says that to you?
I put my wine down on the island we are still standing next to, "Bella, just tell me already, ok. It can't be as bad as you are thinking," I say somewhat forcefully, anticipating something I definitely don't want to hear.
Breathe Edward, just breathe I repeat to myself over and over in my head.
"Shit!" I hear Bella exclaim, "I didn't think this would be this fucking hard to say, Edward. Look, I need to tell you something about me that might change the way you feel about me and I don't want that to happen but you need to know before whatever this is between us goes any further. I should have told you already, I just didn't know how and honestly, I was…am afraid of what you will think once I do," she imploringly says to me.
I pinch the bridge of my nose and take a deep breath, "Bella, if you don't want to see me anymore, just tell me, ok?" I harshly tell her.
She is shaking her head at me, "Edward that is not it at all. You should know by now how I feel about you; I haven't exactly hid it. I'm sorry, I know I should have talked to you about this already, Seth has told me a hundred times so far," she mumbles the last part so softly I almost don't hear it.
Ok, that kind of pisses me the fuck off. She's talked to Seth about this, but she couldn't tell me.
"Bella, just tell me already, I can't take this anymore," I tell her, preparing myself for what I don't know, but I know I hate it.
She sighs deeply, "Maybe I should just show you," she says as she turns towards the living room and picks something up off the coffee table.
It looks like a manila envelope and she is sliding something out of it as she walks back to stand in front of me.
She looks at me, her deep brown eyes staring into mine and says softly, "Edward, I hope you will still want to see me after you look at this. I'm really sorry I didn't tell you sooner, I just didn't know how. I hope you will understand," she finishes as she hands me a…magazine?
I look into her eyes, they are so full of fear and that tears my heart in two, without even knowing what it is I am holding. I take a deep breath and pinch my eyes closed tightly, holding them that way for just a moment and then I force myself to look down.
It takes a full 5 seconds before I take in what I am looking at.
In a swimsuit.
On the cover of Sports Illustrated.
Oh my fucking god!
I look again. She is breathtaking in the picture. The tiniest navy blue bikini I have ever seen is covering…well, not covering much of anything if I'm being honest…her body. Her breasts barely contained in the top, her nipples clearly visible through the material. The tiny strip of blue between her legs, leaving very little to the imagination.
Her long, dark hair, dripping wet over her body. She is staring straight ahead in the picture, her beautiful brown eyes shining up from the page. Her smile…my smile on her face…looking absolutely perfect.
The picture is flawless. Like I said, she is the most beautiful thing I have ever laid eyes on.
The problem? Now every red blooded man in the country…hell in the world, now knows the same thing.
Bella. My beautiful angel Bella. Practically naked on the cover of a magazine that millions upon millions of people, men will look at. Jackoff to.
I look at her sharply, thoughts flying through my head.
Why the hell didn't she tell me? What does this mean for her and me? What the hell would she want with a 32 year old single father, with two kids at home and a pediatrician?
She could date actors, movie stars, professional athletes.
What the hell is she doing spending time with me? A man 8 years older than her. A man with kids and responsibilities. A man completely wrong for her.
Why did she do this, what was she trying to prove? I don't understand. I look at Bella and then look again at the picture.
"Edward," she beseeches me. "Please, look at me. I am so sorry I didn't tell you, I didn't know how. This doesn't change anything between us, please just talk to me," she cries to me.
I raise my head, "God damn it Bella. Not change anything? How can you fucking say that? This changes everything! I admit to not knowing everything about you, but this, this makes me feel like I know nothing about you. Fucking nothing!" I yell at her.
I walk to the island, slamming the magazine on the counter.
I turn to look at her, her shoulders shaking and I can hear her crying softly, but I am so angry it doesn't matter.
She fucking lied to me…maybe not directly, but by omission anyway.
"Bella, I need to go, I can't stay here. Just…just let me think, ok?" I tell her, my heart breaking at the thought of walking away from her, but I turn and walk out the door.
I hear her say my name as I close the door, leaning back against it as I slam my fist into the wall.
"Son of a bitch," I mutter to myself as I make my way back to the elevator, furiously pressing the button to take me to the ground floor…
And away from Bella.